This ends now (or more specifically, tonight by 9:30).

Very soon, I will stand proud and no longer be paralyzed with fear when I think about using a sewing machine. Tonight at 6:30, I’ll be taking Sewing 101 at Spool of Thread – and once and for all, I will cast off the shackles of terror and conquer my fears like a man learning how to make a tote bag with squirrels on it. I’ve been planning on overcoming my fear of sewing for some time now, but simply buying a sewing machine wasn’t enough (especially since I pawned it off on Heather because I was too afraid to touch it). No, I need someone to force me to confront the very core of my phobia, and much like an arachibutyrophobe being forced into a singalong, I WILL OVERCOME! Viva la sewing revolución!

The prophecy of Saturday has come to pass, and I was indeed asked to relocate this morning by my new boss. It’s not so bad – my new desk is big, and with the help of some stolen furniture, I’ve built myself a toy-covered Fortress of Solitude. People keep stopping by my new desk and marveling at the sheer amount of crap I have, and how quickly I’ve moved in and made myself at home. I can’t work when I’m only partially set up, so I just dove in and got busy. Sure, I haven’t done any actual work today – but at least my gnomes are in place and my internet is good. That’s about all you can really ask of me.

these are business-related gnomes, okay