I survived the Mayo Experiment, but AT WHAT COST?!

The remaining mayonnaise was thrown out after I made my sandwich, and I ate my meal without incident. I didn’t even have any weird dreams or intestinal problems, which speaks loudly to either the arbitrary nature of “Best Before” dates and the shadowy conspiracy behind it or my adamantium constitution. I was hoping to at least be able to see through time or something, but nothing happened except for the apparent destruction of my ability to be funny.

I made a harmless and hilarious joke on Twitter today that resulted in someone unfollowing me because I “made them feel like an asshole”, which wasn’t my intention at all. The person’s Tweet just reminded me of the song “Last Caress” by the Misfits, so I ‘sang’ a little bit of it and changed the lyrics so it was about reading blogs. That’s it! I wasn’t trying to be mean, I was being FUNNY! Or so I thought .. apparently, not everyone is up on their Danzig and now someone thinks I am a jerk.

This morning I did a Difficult Thing, and now I feel better. At least, I did until I broke the awesome carved amber ring I got in Portland last summer .. clearly, I will have to make a trip to Portland soon to find a replacement. That is the only logical answer, right?