highly offensive email

It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, but the instant I sat down at my desk this morning I was HIGHLY OFFENDED by not one but TWO work emails. That’s got to be a record – I went from serene to ass-marbling mad in the span of two sentences with nary a blink in between. I’m frothy with indignation and ire and indigestion from last night’s dinner, and I am going to Take a Stand!

I know that my title changes with every email I send out – it’s a running gag like the chalkboard and the couch – but my official title is “Training and Communication”.

Not “Travel Agent”.

Not “Meeting Scheduler”.

Not “She Who Orders 11×17 Paper”, “my office is too hot can you call the building people” or “can you arrange sandwiches for my department”. No, I won’t find you a hotel in Calgary and put it on my credit card. Are you mad?

I’m a big advocate of helping out and pitching in – it’s why I happily wear so many hats – but I really, really hate it when people assume I’m the office assistant. I’ve DONE my time in admin, and haven’t been anyone’s assistant in 14 years. Yes, I’m capable and efficient and on top of everything and can pull miracles out of my ass, but look at me; no one should have to have me as their right hand. Don’t get me wrong, administration is an important job that is pretty dang vital .. but I’m not it. Yes, our office assistant left the company in December, but why do you assume that I took over her duties? Why not the receptionist, or the new guy we hired? I resent the assumption that I would be thrilled to be your personal secretary. Our CEO doesn’t even have an assistant – he books his own travel and meetings. What makes you better than that?

My feathers are so ruffled. I need to go preen.

3 thoughts on “highly offensive email

  1. But you’re a girl! Obviously you find fulfillment doing other people’s laundry, taking out the garbage, and general babysitting. It’s, like, right there on the X-chromosome. The problem is that they hired a GUY and everybody knows that guys don’t do admin! Guys are technical writers, or being groomed for management, or whatever. You wouldn’t want to make a guy feel like an assistant or something by asking him to, you know, assist. That’s what GIRLS do.

    You’re a girl.

    QED!

  2. Yeah, every time the woman in accounts walks around at the end of the day, collecting everyone’s (the dudes) dirty mugs so she can put the dishwasher on before she leaves, I just want to crash tackle her and scream, “You’re making it worse!”

  3. I hear ya. I sit right outside my boss’s office, where his secretary used to sit (and where boss’s secretaries on other floors of the building sit), and I’m always being asked stuff about meeting room bookings, shipping, signing for packages, etc.

    Seeing as I’m in charge of a bunch of people’s passwords for various websites, I’m sometimes tempted to change them to doityourselfnexttime or ihaveaphdyouknow.

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