I managed to catch on my sleep last night, no thanks in part to intentionally pissing off the Big Cat so he would leave me the fuck alone in the middle of the night. I’m glad he loves me and all, even if only when he can’t penetrate Ed’s night time defenses, but two nights in a row of large pointy drooling (so much drool) cat love at 3am makes for an uncooperative and cranky as fuck Kimli the next day. Ed has no sympathy for me, having spent years putting up with Hobble’s nocturnal affection – but I will have my revenge. It will be swift and brutal and probably hilarious.

I am stressed out at work, which is endlessly amusing to me because my job right now is pretty ridiculous: I’ve spent the last 4 hours researching toys and collectibles. Yes, that’s something I do all the damn time anyway, but no matter how much you enjoy something the instant you have to do it in an Official Capacity it becomes an entirely different ball of wax. Everything all up in my head space is all waxy balls and I’m fretting so much more than usual. Should I do this? What about this? We could maybe try this, but will it be enjoyed or seen with a suspicious eye?

When I’m not trying to slip in references to a zombie apocalypse in our employee handbook, I’m working on recognition programs. At the moment I’m trying to come up with an idea for a milestone reward system – do something significant (an anniversary, complete a project, go a whole quarter without removing your pants in the kitchen) and get a thing that will attach to your other things so people can see at a glance what you’ve accomplished. The problem here is the thing – what the hell is it? What are my options?

I asked Google+ and had some ideas of my own, but I’m worried about them simply because I like them. I don’t necessarily want this project to be an extension of my regular life, but I already DO all the awesome things on a regular basis – so am I rejecting ideas because they’re too “me”, or is there some logical merit to my habitual madness?

Idea One: Lego. Rejected for obvious reasons, but it would work almost perfectly – employees would be given a small Lego base and their first milestone figure, and would build from there. Special pieces or minifigures would be awarded with each accomplishment, allowing people to build their own little Shrine of Awesome in their workspaces.

Pros: Small, fun, only communists don’t like Lego.

Cons: I love Lego and am addicted to minifigures; procuring 100+ of the same figure is tricky and potentially expensive as hell.

Idea Two: Merit Badges. Also rejected because it’s a Kimli Thing, this is another logical idea that deserves more thought that I’m giving it. Get a certificate; add merit badges to it when you do stuff. Easy, cost effective, significantly less cheesy than the next idea.

Idea Three: Interlocking figures, like these. I like the “connected people” aspect; dislike the fact they’re basically chew toys for toddlers. Also, they’re kind of ugly. Fear they would be dismissed pretty quickly, because who would want to display these things let alone proudly?

Idea Four: Stacking robots. Cool coz they’re robots, but potentially expensive and only seem to come in four colours. The limited variety is also what makes me naysay Idea Five:

Mr/Mrs Potato Head. Instantly recognizable, but limited variety of parts. Could drive people with OCD tendencies insane if they’re given only one eye with the second being earned at their 15 year anniversary. Potentially cheese factor is high.

Idea Six: The Cubes. Collectible, interlocking, cute. Con: sarcastic office environment vibe; would be difficult to award people for good things when you’re giving them figures with a rap sheet attached for things like “Level 6 Conduct Violation (Suspected Intoxication)” and “04/12/1997 – Level 3 Performance Violation (Software fluency not up to company standards)”.

Idea Seven: Rubber duckies. Everyone loves rubber duckies. Con: might be too silly; difficult to display when all you have are walls.

MY JOB IS HARD.

Help – if you were an employee here, would you be into a fun award system that gave you stuff like this? We’re trying to avoid t-shirts, motivational paperweights, that sort of stuff – we’re going for fun, collectible, pride. I suck at this stuff. HELP!

As an aside, I need this:

i'm at level 6 myself

This part of my job is basically internal communication and branding .. it’s like looking in a blond, plastic mirror!

Okay, back to Google. Also: HELP!