For next 12 hours, all gratuitous waste shall be guilt free.
Once again, that special time of the year is upon us: The Purge. There will be fewer legalized crime sprees, Ethan Hawke, and plot holes, but if all goes according to plan, the end result will be a bathroom counter I can actually see.
I often do wardrobe purges, but this time my goal is to clean out my literal and metaphorical drawers by getting rid of all my unworn makeup. I am something of a chronic impulse purchaser when it comes to cosmetics, and as a result, I have enough makeup to highlight the cheekbones of an entire army. This is stupid, because my day-to-day look rarely changes, and nowadays I tend to err on the side of not looking like a drag queen (which, I suppose, means I’m growing up. a little. sort of.). I have piles and piles of stuff I never wear, or is expired, or was a good idea at the time; all clogging up my counters and pores in equally terrible amounts. So, it’s time to purge. Anything that has not touched my skin in the last six months shall added to a colossal FFA pile, which my friends get to pick through (I’ve supplied most of my inner circle with makeup for years – it’s a good way to find out whether neon shimmery pink is truly your colour, or only something you wear to get out of jury duty). Once they’ve gorged themselves on things they’d never ever purchase for themselves (a frugal quality I could use a lot more of), I will donate the lot to the Wish Foundation here in Vancouver. It’s a Feel Good mission all around: I get a clean bathroom, my friends get a free makeup spree, and I earn karma by donating stuff to those in need (for the record, a LOT of people in Vancouver are in need of green eyeshadow). Because I get so much out of it – a clean counter for Lemon to walk on without destroying the universe, time with my friends, warm fuzzies – I am not allowed to feel guilty about all the money I spent, or that there are people in the world who have to go without tinted primer at all and here I am just giving it away. Even the famous Ed Stink Eye cannot dampen the thrill of the Purge – I rather perversely enjoy getting rid of things (it helps that I have so very many things), and (don’t tell my mother) sometimes I like doing a deep clean.
The decision I made years ago to actually care about my appearance has been terribly expensive. Let’s hope that never happens again.