I was on Cosmopolitan.com for less than 10 minutes, and I learned:

• I wear the wrong colours
• I wear the wrong clothes
• I don’t manage my clothes properly
• Which makes me look “CAF”
• That “CAF” means “Cheap as Fuck”
• I dress wrongly for my shape
• My shape shouldn’t exist
• Men love unexpected anal play
• Gripping the testicles firmly and squeezing is a sexy bedroom move
• I wear the wrong shoes to dance
• I shouldn’t dance (see point 7)
• Body positivity is super important, guys
• Learning to love yourself is gonna be huge in 2015
• Three words: surprise. anal. play.

Totes gonna bookmark this site. TOTES.