I subscribe to a number of “beauty boxes”, because although my hair screams “butch DMV clerk”, I love makeup and lotions and all that girlie crap. My favourite subscription at the moment is to Beauteque Monthly, which sends me a bag full of Korean beauty products each month. It’s where I got the Aloe Dildo shown in the post below, plus a whole lot of other neat/weird things that clutter my bathroom counter something fierce.
I just received the August bag, and one of the items was a tube of All in One Snail Repair Cream. At first I was confused because I do not have any broken snails that need repairing, but then I realized that it’s actually snail cream, meant to repair my face. This .. is not better.
I’m seriously conflicted over this, because I LOVE SNAILS. Not to put on my face, but to LOVE AND GENTLY HUG/ADMIRE FROM AFAR. The internet tells me that this cream, which boasts an enviably high concentration of 92% snail extract, is one of the most popular snail creams available. It also claims that the extract is collected in a “cruelty-free way”, but I can’t find any further information on that. I need to know this, because see above re: loving snails. I’m squeamishly curious to try the cream – I could certainly use some repairing – but .. snails. I love ’em. I don’t want to use a product that hurts them. I’d rather have the scars and spots and splotches.
LOOK AT THESE GUYS. How could you want to hurt them for their goo?