Hey! If you’re here because you googled “Aralsk-7” or “Anna Zharkova”, I urge you to NOT read on: there be spoilers ahead!

The second half of May was sort of a blur. It went from bad – having to postpone our road trip to Edmonton due to flooding – to worse, what with the diabetes diagnosis and landing myself in the hospital with overly melodramatic ketoacidosis (which, prior to the 1920s, was “universally fatal”. Thanks, science!). I spent much of May and June being ordered to go to the hospital, go see this doctor, visit this specialist, go get blood drawn, pee on these sticks, talk to the merchant because he has an important quest for you, etc. I was feeling like crap most of the time, and had some serious brain fog going on .. so when the first item arrived in the mail, I was confused. Like, as confused as I think I could possibly get. I honestly didn’t know if it was real, or if I was dreaming some weird-ass scenario, so I set it aside to do some research when I was feeling better.

the first package

Once my head had cleared and I realized I hadn’t dreamt up the letters, I had an inkling of an idea what was going on. I did some brief googling to confirm my suspicions, but wanted to avoid any potential spoilers. My theory was correct: someone had signed me up for a Mysterious Package Company experience. I don’t know who yet, but I know I love them!

The second package arrived several weeks later, and contained a great deal more information:

before lamination was invented

A bloodied ID card, diary entries, and a map. Location names started to appear, which I promptly looked up. I’m actually really impressed with the amount of research that went into creating this, because the place names are real – and in fact are real locations at which the events described actually happened. While I’m sure (hope) that the undead portion of the tale was written for effect, it was pretty dang creepy to realize that there really was an island with a military complex and a laboratory that very likely really did do horrible things (as in biowarfare research and experimentation), AND an actual weaponized disease accident that killed people, and .. fuck, this is all legit isn’t it. WHAT WERE MY MALAYSIAN OR IRISH ANCESTORS DOING IN THE ARAL SEA?!?!

The latest (last?) package arrived this week, in a heavy box.

the text prolly says “contents: finger”

No letters this time, just a human finger in a vial of green goo. Dr. Zharkova, what have you done??!

That’s all I know, at this point. If you want to fess up to giving me an awesome birthday present, please do so! If this isn’t a present at all and I really do have a sample of super serum in my house, COOL I am totally going to use it on myself because what’s the worst that could happen?

If you want to see the other items I received, check out the gallery I posted on Imgur. It’s all very cool, and maybe you can spot something I missed.

SO MYSTERIOUS!