It’s a tale as old as time: girl posts giant ass picture. Fellow ass-posting girl compliments the ass. Boy sees second ass girl and tries to get her attention, but wackily misfires. Non-ass-posting girl takes the bait. Boy doesn’t get it. Non-ass-posting girl calls him stupid. Boy doesn’t get it. Boy keeps trying. Non-ass-posting girl is annoyed, but resigns herself to her fate because at least the Korean Christians have stopped mistagging her in their non-stop Instagram blessings.

Boy never finds out girl’s ass size.

~ fin ~