I live on the balcony now.

Not just because the balcony is the best place in the house, but also because holy fuck I need to sleep.

Ed snores. Loudly. The situation is now reversed, as he used to complain nightly about my own snoring. I probably still do, but he can sleep through it because his own snoring is so thunderous. I tried to go to bed early so I fall asleep before he does, but we’re both night owls and it never works. He’ll purposefully stay up super late to give me time to fall asleep, but I also stay up and then it’s a million o’clock and suffering happens. He’s one of those annoying ass-humans who can fall asleep the second he’s in bed, but I toss and turn for ages before I drift off. And once he starts snoring, it’s game over: my misophonia kicks in and I cannot. fall. asleep. no matter what I do. Sometimes I’ll move to the couch. Other times I’ll just lay there and hope he quiets down for long enough for me to fall asleep. If I’m lucky, I’ll get around 4 hours of sleep before the alarms go off – and that’s a big fucking if, because the game has just gone up a level.

I’ve been fucking exhausted for most of this week because I’ve had to get up hell damn ass early for various appointments or meetings. Night before last, I actually made myself fall asleep “early” – before he came to bed, at any rate. Only problem: I wake up around 6am to pee, and then I can’t fall back to sleep because he’s snoring so loud. Friday morning sleep was so pointless that I was awake, showered, and at my desk working by 6:15, because what the hell else am I going to do? This morning, same thing. 6am, I have to pee, I’m still super tired, but oh now I can’t think because his nose sounds give me giant anxiety. I got up and made a Complicated Breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, dealt with the clean then dirty dishes, washed the bongs, did some laundry .. and it’s not yet 9am. On a Saturday. This sucks at least 17 balls.

It’s very nice outside, I guess.

So tired.