This is a personal blog.

Turns out it’s exceedingly difficult to write about personal things when you don’t know the person you’re sharing about.

TL;DR: Not only do I not recognize myself, I don’t know even know myself. Who am I? What motivates me, makes me happy? Where am I headed? Why is Gamora?

Since getting laid off, I’ve spent my fair share of time wallowing. I did the stunned moping, followed by the angry moping, the defiant moping, and the relaxed moping. Now is for the big question mark moping: who the fuck do I think I am?

In order to get out of the house more, I’ve been trying new things: aquafit, for example. Going to the pool (here are two community pools within 10 minutes of #halfwack and I’d never used them in the 7 years we’ve lived here (how the fuck did that happen) until this month) when I’m bored to get some soaking/water fitness in. I baked a (pretty terrible) layer cake. I held a garage sale with moderate success. I tried crocheting with significantly less success. Finally fixed my two front teeth, got new glasses, added colour to my hair. Discovered thrifting is a thing, and have Many Thoughts about that. I’ve been “busy”.

Nothing’s really clicked, though. I’m going through the motions, but I don’t feel .. anything, about much of anything. Not even travel excites me much – I have all the freedom I could use, but can’t convince myself to go anywhere, even locally.

I don’t have a “thing”. I don’t know what makes me me. I used to be a lot of things: a gamer, a caster, a scooterist, an avid traveller, a writer, a blogger, a technical writer – I’m none of that.

So what am I?

Besides annoyed because I can’t reverse the scroll direction on this stupid trackpad?

How the fuck do I figure this out (the identity thing, not the scrollbar. i got it.)?