Alright, let me catch you up real quick:

I’ve been in a very bad place mentally over the last 6 months, and the last three weeks were fucking hard. I was off in every possible way.

Then yesterday afternoon, the switch flipped.

I heard it in my head, while Chumbawhumba’s “Tubthumping” played, literally midst

I get knocked down
but I get up again
you’re never gonna keep me down

. and like any 80’s child raised on montage, I came back online. I don’t know how else to describe it. There was a weird physical sensation, and then every single thing that had been weighing me down just .. stopped. I felt great. Full day later, I still feel great. Shit’s cool. Life has colour. Stuff is neat!

And I don’t know how to feel about that.

Honestly, the change was so abrupt it feels manic. And that isn’t really what I was aiming for, so I’m looking into it with professionals. I do NOT have time for this. In the meantime, there’s little I can do but monitor myself going forward and hope I don’t drown again. I’m cautiomistic and a little weirded out, but hopeful. Am I just broken in a totally new fun way, or are all the idioms about switch flicking true? Is this one of those gift horses I should really look into? Can’t wait to see how this turns out.