vacation redux

Let’s try this again.

I’ve made reservations for Ed and I to go to Victoria next Thursday, returning on Sunday. We had to make a couple of concessions – hotels are now in “summer” mode, so the price of a room almost doubled. We’re still going for three days, but we’re going to spend a night at my mom’s place and only two nights in a hotel. My neck is already sore in anticipation of sleeping on the leather and steel love seat from hell, but two nights in a king-sized bed should make up for it nicely.

I am excited once again. I would probably be MORE excited if my headache would go away, but I am reasonably full of glee despite my growing dependency on Tylenol Ultra. Fun times ahead! Set sail for adventure! Let’s all get naked and dance!

I think I will celebrate my upcoming vacation plans (v2.0) with the adding of bacon and tomatoes to bread.

vampires, helicopters, north vancouver

I hate it when I’m watching TV and something comes on that I don’t recognize. After my cartoons were over, a movie started playing. It was a Marvel Comics movie, so I watched the intro expecting my pop culture telepathy to kick in. After the Marvel logo, there was a desert – and then some army people and a helicopter – and then someone giving the helicopter the finger, and some sort of metal beast, and .. what the fuck is this, anyway. I called Ed over, and we kept watching. Okay, there are some explosions .. and a car .. and the North Vancouver train yard, complete with a Saskatchewan grain train that, at this exact moment, is about 3 minutes from my house .. what the hell?

Turns out it was the first few minutes of Blade: Trinity, which a) was apparently filmed down the street from me, and b) is a Marvel property. Then I turned the TV off. I don’t particularly care for either leather trench coats or the third movie in a series I’ve never seen, but it was neat to see my train yard.

not pictured: vampires; Wesley Snipes

justify my kimli

I’ve been stressing since yesterday afternoon about a Big Important Meeting with my boss that I accidentally missed. We had the meeting this morning, and SURPRISE! EMPLOYEE EVALUATION! Gah.

However, I am apparently awesome. The evaluation was glowing, none of my upcoming goals were a surprise, my boss is delighted with both my work and my pleasant odors, and I am just great. I work well with others! It says so in my review!

Take that, elementary school teachers!

Hah.

In other news, I saw a 6-storey Mr. Peanut on my way to work this morning.

I am not sure if I was hallucinating, or if it was real – it could have gone either way as I am now in hour 22 of a nasty localized headache. Everyone tells me it’s not a toomah, but what if it IS and it’s making me hallucinate giant corporate spokesnuts? I would not be surprised if the Michelin Man started waltzing through downtown Vancouver. In fact, I would welcome it.

My head hurts.

Also, Ed loves me. I know this because yesterday when I was feeling terrible he went to the post office to pick up my gay porn. Any man that would voluntarily fetch his wife’s extreme hardcore gay homosexual man-on-man porn collection without protest and with a smile is totally a keeper.

interactive disaffection

I am completely oblivious to the world around me.

I mean, not *really*. I know what’s going on in the world. I read the news, I watch TV, I get invitations to join Facebook groups that will totally make gas cheaper if enough people sign up. I know, man. I am in the zone.

Perhaps “oblivious” isn’t the right word to use here – “disaffected” might be closer. None of it really affects me, and while that doesn’t mean that I don’t *care* about the Big Issues of the Day, it also means that I am not nearly in enough of a tizzy about it all.

Cases in point:

The housing market is a horrible disaster: I don’t own a house and I’m not looking to buy one. I am a happy renter not living in the west end, and my landlord doesn’t seem to have any plans to condo-ize the building. I don’t have a mortgage, I am not being foreclosed, I do not live in any sort of ghost town. Yes, the housing market is scary right now. It doesn’t affect me in any way.

Gas prices are higher than they’ve ever been and higher than people in the 60’s could probably count: yes, gas prices are insane. However, I don’t drive a large car. In fact, we drive our own car so rarely that one fill up generally lasts us 3 weeks or more. When we do need to fuel the Mazdabator, we never fill the tank completely. Gas prices are terrible, but $25 in car gas lasts us just as long as it did last year. My primary mode of transportation from March to November is my scooter, and at less than $5 a week, I’m just not feeling the gas crunch.

Global warming has caused all the crops to wither and die and food is too expensive so people have to use food stamps: We don’t do a lot of grocery shopping, and when we do, we’re not feeding a large family. Yes, food is expensive, but when you’re buying such small amounts you don’t really feel the pinch as much. I make an effort to buy as local as I can (and if not BC, then definitely Canadian-grown), because shelling out $6 for BC corn is a much better idea to me than paying $4 for American corn. I’m patriotic like that, and I am fortunate enough to be able to afford to make these decisions. Does Canada even HAVE food stamps? I honestly don’t know.

The biggest pain in the ass the crop-harming weather has had for me is that my Okanagan cherries (aka Allergy Bombs) aren’t as large or as firm as I like them to be. Yes, it truly does suck to be me.

Random severed feet are showing up along BC’s coast lines: Everyone I know still has two feet.

Gas prices are so high they’re causing problems for soccer moms because they can’t afford to drive little Timmy to baseball and little Suzie to ballet
: snort.

Maybe I’m just a carefree bastard, but none of this really bothers me much at all. I just roll with the punches, and try to do my part – recycle, think about how my lifestyle might affect the environment, make an effort to clean up after assholes on the beach who litter, etc. I can’t claim that I live a completely green lifestyle, but I do try. If I have to have a carbon footprint, it’s going to be as tiny as I can get it – it may not cure cancer, but it gives me a smug sense of satisfaction that is just lovely.

I’m not oblivious, but I’m not a statistic either.

Are the major issues of the day affecting you? How so? Share your woes/smug hipster ways with me!

downfall of society v1.4

I often joke about Documentation Emergencies when I’m away from the office, but when I got in today there actually was one. Serves me right for joking about it, I guess – but STILL. Who would expect that a miscommunicated command would bring about the downfall of society? I suppose I know better, now. Sorry about that, society.

Even though Ed and I didn’t go to the Island this weekend, we still had a lot of fun. We scooted all over the place, including a picnic on Third Beach with Josh and Shan to watch the sunset, and a random scoot around Deep Cove/Capilano College last night (a cemetery! wandering deer! illegal shortcuts! enormous pub food!). Best of all, there’s still adventures to look forward to (assuming my boss approves my vacation request – I have a bad habit of returning from vacation and immediately requesting more time off. What can I say; I’ve really become accustomed to this whole “paid time off” thing). It’s finally starting to look like summer ‘round these parts – time for adventures and picture taking.

Speaking of which, this is one of the saddest and/or creepiest pictures I’ve ever taken:

I’ve missed you, mother dear.

compromise

We just weren’t feeling it yesterday – the uncertainty took a lot of fun out of the idea, so we decided to go in July instead. If the weather in July is as off/on as it is now, I will quit the northern hemisphere. It’s officially summer, dangit – where’s my sun?

I still took today off, though. It’s nice out, so we’re going riding. I think a scoot around UBC might be in order – beaches and sunshine and mostly naked people for the win.

I enjoy having things to look forward to.

content

Yesterday was awesome.

After work, I went to the Fluevog store with Miranda, Reilly and Shan to pick out my birthday shoes. I had visually narrowed my choice down to three online and was all but sold on this pair, but then I tried on these and fell in love. They’re not as practical, but they felt delightful on my deformed feet and would be much less painful in the long run. Plus: added height. I love my birthday shoes!

After a birthday dinner at Red Robins (birthday corn dogs for the win), we went up Cypress to watch the solstice moon rise. It was fucking awesome. I got lots of pictures, and generally just had an excellent time watching the red moon rise over my favourite city.

Ed and I are still trying to decide (well, I’ve decided and he’s still asleep) but I think we might be scooting to Victoria after all – the forecast of rain has turned into “clouds but some sun”, which is enough for me to have a good time.  I’m excited, if apprehensive because I haven’t packed anything yet and I don’t do very well with seat-of-my-non-pants plans – but if we go, it’ll be good times.

Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes both here and on Facebook!

yay!

Clearly I am getting old – I somehow managed to put my bra on this morning with one cup twisted all the way around. I kept adjusting myself to try to relieve the uncomfortable sensations in my mighty cleavage, but nothing helped. Then I looked down and saw something that was not right at all, so I had to go into the bathroom and strip. I am all better now, though. My boobs are excellent as always.

It is my birthday! There will be birthday shoes! Ed and Josh and Shan conspired amongst themselves and I am now armed with gift certificates for my coveted Fluevogs. I think I am going to go today after work and outfit myself with something fabulous, since it is my birthday and all. Thanks, guys! :D

In addition to birthday shoes, there were also birthday ninjas and birthday spiders. Ed is well aware of my uncontrollable attraction to wacky blind box toys, so he got me an assortment of mystery boxes from Voltage, my favourite store. I’d been trying to get a Wee Ninja for the longest time, and Ed managed to choose the box that had one – hooray! He also got me one of these, which are creepy but incredibly cute. Birthday spiders! Scary.

Hooray for birthdays!