Category Archives: everyday kimli

fish flakes from strangers

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You’re in a Japanese grocery store, picking up some interesting snacks and candy to enjoy over the course of the weekend. Unable to read the packaging, you rely on images and proximity to determine what you’ll try. It’s a fairly fail-proof method, because groceries stores don’t generally shelve rat poison next to popcorn.

After selecting your Pocky flavours of the week, you spy a colourful package of mystery. Do you:

A) skip it, because you aren’t sure what’s in it and it could be gross
B) buy it, because it has Hello Kitty on it and you’re a sucker for anything cute
C) buy it, because every mystery food you’ve bought with Hello Kitty on it in the past has always had a toy in it and the toy is more fun than the food anyway
D) buy it, because it’s colourful and very cute and might have a toy in it and is sitting on the shelf in between some sour candies and some green tea Pocky, so it is obviously delicious
E) read the packaging carefully for a clue as to what it might be, therefore realizing that it is NOT candy but rather 40 individual packets of fish-flavoured rice seasoning

    If your answer is A, you are not very adventurous and quite possibly boring.

    If your answer is B, C or D, you are me.

    If your answer is E, what are you doing next week? Do you want to come to the Japanese store with me for some REAL candy and not fish flakes disguised as candy?

    Apparently, I accidentally purchased 40 packets of adorable Hello Kitty furikake. Judging by the pictures on the very cute little packets, the flavours (2 of each) are:

    • Airport security
    • Karaoke
    • Fire
    • Flowers
    • Carpentry
    • Art museum tours
    • Space
    • Rectal thermometry
    • Soccer
    • Dolphins
    • Bus driving
    • Bar graphs
    • Sushi
    • Hitting someone in the head with a baseball
    • Ice skating with raccoons
    • Hair drying
    • Science
    • Gluttony
    • Apple Umbrella Socks
    • Serving drinks to evil bears

    Mmmmm! I can’t wait to try these!

    a lonely little nerd

    Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

    I miss my PC.

    Don’t get me wrong; I love my MacBook and I’m truly enjoying the whole “two monitors” thing – it feels like I am totally the future. I just miss all the little things that I can’t do without my PC – IRC, those stupid Shockwave games I play nonstop when no one is looking, browsing through my collection of naked people that I know. I miss my files; all my MP3s and pictures that I didn’t backup to my external drive. I miss the control key, damnit. I think this weekend I should go buy myself a new power supply (again) and get my computer back up and running. It’s high time I returned to a lifestyle of idling on IRC for weeks at a time, never saying a word!

    I am very tired today. I’ve slept poorly for two nights in a row, one night even featuring imaginary or possibly real cigarettes. I awoke at 2:30 in the morning because I smelled really strong horrible disgusting pipe clogging choking cigarette smoke, and it made me unable to breathe. I drifted in and out of sleep, but the smell was really strong and I was getting really concerned because my throat was closing up and breathing was not only difficult but painful – basically, what happens every time I have the misfortune to be around smokers. I eventually fell asleep, but my dreams were of violent confrontations with smoking hobos that I had poured water on from my fire escape in an attempt to douse their stink. The dream was really vivid, which led me to wonder – did I dream the initial cigarette stench that woke me up in the first place, or was someone really smoking in very close vicinity to my bed? The smell was REALLY strong, but Ed slept through it all. Was it real? Did someone sneak into my room and hide under my bed, smoking? One thing that I remember thinking strange was the strength of the smell, and the silence – usually when our neighbours sneak out for a late night smoke, they aren’t exactly discrete about it. They talk or sing or get into fights or make some kind of noise, but other than the stench there was no noise whatsoever. If I dreamed the entire thing, I would appreciate not having those sorts of dreams because frankly I really do enjoy being able to breathe. Also, I hate cigarettes. I am allergic, I do not enjoy cancer, and just .. eww.

    Josh and Shan are in Vegas. Miranda and Reilly leave for Cuba tonight. Ed and I have no plans this weekend, and I am excited – I can finally crack open GTA IV, I don’t have to wear pants, and there are many good things to be said about not dining out for 6 days in a row.

    i gone done some good deeds

    Posted in everyday kimli by

    Last night I did many (okay, three) good deeds.

    Josh, Shan, Ed and I went to the Queens of the Stone Age show at the PNE Forum. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really want to go – I spent much of my day trying to find someone to use my ticket in my place. I asked half a dozen people, all of whom had other plans. Unable to find a replacement Kimli in time, I decided to just drug my headache into behaving and go anyway. We piled into the Delica and set off for musical glory.

    It was a good show. I don’t really have much more to say than that – while I appreciate QotSA, I’m not head over heels about them in any way. They sounded great and played a goodly amount and I didn’t get trampled in a mosh pit, so it counts as a win for me.

    As Ed had bought me an enormous Diet Coke and I have a bladder the size of a runted pea, it was inevitable that I would have to get up mid-set and make my way to the bathroom. I did just that, had my self an excellent pee, and headed back to the group. It was at that moment that I was destined to make someone’s night – I tripped over a wallet. I bent down to pick it up and immediately walked over to the first aid tent, holding out the wallet in case anyone wanted to chase after me saying HEY THAT’S MY WALLET OMG GIMMIE. No one did, so I peeked inside to see if there was a name. Robert, it seems, was in for a bad evening – I had his wallet.

    After handing it in to the first aid tent, I went back to the show. I was dissatisfied, though – it wasn’t enough that I found the wallet; I wanted to reunite it with its rightful owner. But how? The show was sold out and packed full of sweaty bodies, not to mention the darkness. It seemed hopeless. I looked around for anyone who might match the face I saw on the ID, but nothing. I did some wandering and people watching, but resigned myself to never taking my discovery that one creepy step further.

    But lo! Some time had passed since I found the wallet, and my eye happened to catch a security guard making his way out of the crowd with a guy in tow. I happened to overhear “.. n’ found over there”, so I did the only natural thing – I stalked the guy and watched him cross the empty side of the hall to talk to two old ladies stationed at the entrance. They shook their heads at him, and he turned to walk away. It was at this point that I decided I had nothing to lose, so I went up to him and asked “hey, are you looking for a wallet?” He was! I asked if his name was Robert. It was! I explained that I tripped over his wallet and took it to the first aid people, so we walked over there and he asked if they had it. They did! Robert was happy, I was happy, we exchanged a sticky half hug, and I was pleased that I was able to reunite the wallet with the guy who lost it. Yay! Being Nancy Drew is AWESOME!

    Oh, and when we got home, the Admiral’s car light was on. I tried the door handle, and it was unlocked. At least his keys weren’t in the ignition this time – I turned off his interior light, locked the door, and shut it. I am way too good a neighbour.

    Good deeds are fun!

    catching up on my outrage

    Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

    It’s been a crazy few days ‘round about these delicious parts, and I’ve barely had a moment to sit down and regale the internet with my heroic and naked deeds. All that changes today, though – I am in the Lab early, there are very few fires burning that I must tend to, and I have a breakfast burrito. Clearly, things are looking up and not just because I have extra salsa.

    I did not, unfortunately, make it to the midnight launch of Grand Theft Auto IV. I would like to be able to say that I thought better of the entire thing, having realized the sheer folly in being awake at midnight on a work night just so I could join the sweaty nerd thugs in being able to purchase something a full eight hours before the rest of the population, but that’s not why. I had brilliant intentions to leave the house at 11:30 and scoot on over to my favourite EB Games, but .. well, I was just too tired to do it. It was still raining, I had a truly horrific day what with being wet for 15 hours straight, and no one would come with me, so .. I bailed on the midnight adventure. I am somewhat worried for my nerd cred, but I have faith that any one of the other thousand nerdy things I’ve done this year alone will prove that I am totally badass in strange, strange ways.

    Besides, I picked up my copy yesterday morning. I figure I’ll have some free time to play it sometime on Friday night around 11pm.

    That is, if I can pry the TV out of Ed’s clammy hands – we picked up Mario Kart Wii on Sunday, and it is a laugh riot of epic proportions. Ed’s taking a shine to playing online, and since the 360 and Wii are on the same TV, we will have to fight it out real time before we can fight it out in a virtual setting. I took heavy advantage of EB’s trade-in bonuses, and when everything was all totaled up they owed ME money. Good times. More people should owe me money.

    So, about my rage dainties. Yesterday while attempting to get dressed so I could leave for work, I discovered that not one not two but THREE of my bras are royally fucked right up beyond normal repair. The hooks on the back have been straightened or just plain ripped out, and the underwires snapped into multiple pieces. BAD. My boobs deserve nothing but the finest in bra technology, and finding that three whole bras are wrecked is just infuriating. In a fabulous rage, I stormed to the internet and within five minutes, had ordered six new bras to replace my destroyed ones. TAKE THAT! I managed to find a sale and a coupon, so the 6 new bras are coming to me for the low, low price of $135. Since $30 of that is shipping, I am pleased with my discounts – after all, my bras need to be made of mithril with an adamantium core so $18 a piece is a friggin’ bargain. I’m not happy about having to buy new bras so soon, but this time around I bought nothing but function – no fur trim or sequins or crystal chandeliers; nothing but good old fashioned danger cleavage baring brassieres.

    In other news, more than half of the 53 girls between the ages of 14-17 taken from the polygamist compound in Texas either are pregnant or have already given birth. Moral America, however, is too scandalized by the nude back of teen sensation Miley “Hannah Montana” Cyrus to give half a damn. Good game, America. Your priorities are clearly in the right place and once again, your common sense and compassion are stellar examples of the good our species is capable of.

    If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw up in my mouth a little.

    sloppy drunks need not apply

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    I’m still alive, although if I take many more trips over the Knight Street Bridge on my scooter I may not be. That wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, but I made it in one piece and got many shocked looks from massive semi trucks for good measure.

    I spent most of yesterday in Richmond tooling around a warehouse on my hands and knees, making executive decisions left and right. At the end of the day I was filthy and congested, but I won’t have to go back there again unless catastrophe strikes and all my awesome work is unplugged. I was asleep until the moment I left the office and promptly passed out again when I got home, so I wasn’t near a computer for most of the day. It was a strange sensation, and one I don’t look to repeat anytime soon.

    They’re painting our lab. When I came in the morning, the walls were a brilliant dark blue. It’s really nice, but I pretty much instantaneously got a really bad headache from the fumes. Also not helping: the rock n’ roll accountant brought his dog into the office today, and it’s super cute – so all the ladies in Accounting Land are cooing and squealing over the puppy and the noise, combined with the smell, is making my head throb like no other. This is going to be one hell of a long Thursday.

    You know what I hate? Drunks. Especially sloppy drunks. Having to share personal space with sloppy drunks in a social setting make me seethe with superiority and scorn.

    I have a shameful lack of interesting things to report these days, and it’s bringing me down. The weather outside isn’t conducive to fabulous adventures, and it seems that all the crazies are still hibernating through our unseasonably cold spring. Perhaps soon there will be exciting times, but they may be happening to everyone else – people are traveling to exotic places, and I .. well, I am trolling caves looking for Pokemans. Maybe more fun times would happen if I went outside.

    I shouldn’t fret about my lack of travel, though. I am looking forward to next month’s road trip (even with all the math involved), and in June for my birthday Ed and I are planning my long-awaited scooter trip to Victoria. Those are exciting! I am content.

    At least I would be, if Oscar’s battery wasn’t completely dead and the replacement I ordered on Saturday was nowhere in sight.

    ridiculous shoes

    Posted in everyday kimli, international kimli, vroom vroom by

    .. will be the death of me.

    Shopping with Miranda on Friday was perhaps a little too successful, and while I didn’t do nearly as much damage as she did, I came home with more shoes than I left with. I am continuing my endeavor to learn how to walk in things with a heel, and to this end, I am now the delighted owner of these:

    They are ridiculous, and I am absolutely in love with them.

    Also fabulous are these:


    I can appreciate the irony of my being catty about a massive shoe sale then spending my day off buying shoes, but I frankly do not care – CUTE SHOES! Hooray!

    The rest of my weekend was much lower key than I had originally planned. Saturday morning saw Ed and I at the Tomahawk with Miranda, Reilly, and Darren – after which we parted ways so Ed and I could do some scooter stuff like get some oil for him (fail) and a new battery for me (win). We were home for the afternoon, where my plans to do some cleaning fell away to the siren song of my bed – I napped. When I woke up I found that M&R had spent THEIR afternoon buying a friggin’ giant car, so obviously a celebration was in order. We scooted to The Eatery for some good times, then perused the bookstore (cheap books make my pants tight in a wonderful way). Clearly, we are a wild party.

    On Sunday, I did nothing. I wanted to go to the 420 celebrations at the Art Gallery, but a minor anxiety attack in the morning made those plans seem like a very, very bad idea. Instead, Ed and I rode around the North Shore for a while to break in his new cylinder and to pick up my new Pokemans. I wish I could have laughed at the seething mass of humanity, but it just wasn’t in me. There was more napping, a little bit of cleaning, and lots of video games – a normal weekend, ‘round these parts.

    If the weather would hurry up and be warm already, I could spend a lot more time being fabulous outside.

    Hey, are down comforters evil?

    change of plans

    Posted in everyday kimli, international kimli by

    I’m honestly not sure what I’m more excited about – that this is the first paid vacation day I’ve had since 2002 that I haven’t had to fight tooth and nail to get, or that since I’m not scooting into the Lab this morning, I can have truly enormous hair that isn’t flattened by my helmet. Both of these things are terribly exciting to me!

    I had taken today off because Miranda, Tanya and I McKenzie, Jacqueline and Fran were supposed to go back to the Potato Farm for more investigating. Unfortunately, a schedule mix up occurred and our visit was postponed for a bit. Still, I opted to keep the day off anyway and Miranda and I are going south of the border for the day so she can shop for clothing for Cuba. It’s nice out, so this mini road trip is going to be fun. Yay! Days off are good times!

    Also? My hair is *huge*.

    Originally yanked from Ali, I am planning to spend my weekend doing this. Hilarity is all but guaranteed.