Category Archives: everyday kimli

consequences

Posted in everyday kimli, relationship drama by

Things I do not do:

  • Drink
  • Swear
  • Rat my hair
  • Get ill from one cigarette
  • Appreciate your filthy paws on my silky drawers (would you pull that crap with Annette?)
  • Apologize when I’m not wrong
  • Realize how lucky I was for making it 7+ years without a family member discovering my blog

It’s not like I routinely say nasty things about my family (or really, anyone who isn’t a neighbor) or share shocking secrets (real ones, not things that *I* think are shocking) or anything, but I was always very secure in my comfortable bubble of NO CONSEQUENCES – it didn’t really matter what I wrote or when, because there would be NO CONSEQUENCES to anything I said. I didn’t spend my time writing terrible things, but still – if I wanted to complain about my job or wax poetic about my vagina or talk of illicit but non-discrete drug use or say how stabby Ed was making me, I could and it wouldn’t matter.

Until now.

Thanks to Facebook and the increasing prevalence of the internet, I have officially been outed to Ed’s family. After my initial freak out (and believe it, it was an epic freak out of monumental proportions), I am okay. My first thought was to go back and censor 7 years of posts, but that would a) be completely against everything I stand for, b) take a really, really, really long time, c) make me feel horrible inside, d) be completely pointless. I’ve never censored myself (much to Ed’s dismay, I’m sure) – why start now? I haven’t *done* anything! So, no censoring. I am still All Out There. I am Highly Inappropriate at All Times, and not someone you’d want at a classy dinner party. Also, hi mom!

So, how about that local sports team?

help me decide

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

My in-laws gave me a little bit of cash as an early birthday present, and I’m having trouble deciding what to do with it. It’s enough for almost half of the two things I am currently coveting, so I turn to you – the trusted internets – to tell me which of the two I should buy.

Thing One:

A second LCD monitor. I never really bought into the whole dual monitor setup thing, until my PC died and I started using my Macbook + monitor at home. I also have a dual setup at work, because I need to be able to see many things at once while monitoring the effects my nefarious chemicals are having on my Frankenvictims. Now that my PC lives and is excellent again, I really find that I miss having two windows to the world at home. I’d like a second monitor, at least 21”. It would be the main screen, and my 17” LCD would be the secondary.

Pros:

  • two monitors means I can view two porns at the same time!
  • No longer will I be at my keyboard but unreachable because I am too busy playing stupid little shockwave games and can’t be bothered to alt-tab out of it to see what you want
  • A dual monitor setup is totally the future, and I am all about the future

Cons:

  • Have you seen the size of my desk? It is tiny. I will have to work some heavy duty magic to make a dual monitor setup work in the space I have available (pro: I love reorganizing things!)
  • I am not sure that my video card will support dual monitors, as it was made in Mexico sometime around 1969
  • Will I stop at two? What if some day I think a TRIPLE monitor setup is the way to go? What then? Is a second LCD panel just a gateway gadget?

Thing Two:

A pair of Fluevog shoes. I’m thinking these, or perhaps these. They are so sexy I can barely breathe. It would be an utter splurge, but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with birthday money? Sure, I could do something responsible like buy orphaned bread or double-paned windows, but that is boring. I don’t want boring. I want flashy. I want exciting. I want passionate whirlwind romance atop the Eiffel Tower with tall handsome men or women with thick accents and a bow tie. Those shoes would get me closer to that, I am sure.

Pros:

  • Sexy shoes!
  • Whirlwind romance!

Cons:

  • I don’t know that I can honestly bring myself to spend that much money on a pair of *shoes*
  • Flying to Paris for romance would ruin my whole “no flying in 2008” thing, and I would feel guilty the entire time because I warmed the globe with my emissions
  • No double-paned windows means my heating bill will go up in the winter
  • All my pants are so damned long you would never see my sexy shoes anyway

I’m torn. Help me, internet! Which frivolous purchase reigns supreme?

VS

too busy for paragraphs

Posted in everyday kimli by
  • Starbucks has the Raspberry Apricot thumbprint scones again – NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM SO GOOD
  • I can’t be the only woman between the ages of 20 and 55 who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the Sex in the City movie, can I? Surely there are more of us out there who just don’t get it?
  • Tonight, there will be meat. A lot of meat. So very, very much meat. And it will be glorious. Yay!
  • My SqueePC is off to the Tiny Laptop Hospital this afternoon. Here’s for a speedy, cost-effective recovery!
  • Is it wrong to have a crush on your husband’s mother’s brother’s second wife’s daughter from her first marriage? Coz I totally do. Yum.
  • Where the hell is my pre-ordered Dresden Dolls CD?

putting the ho in hotel

Posted in everyday kimli by

Ed’s parents were sweet enough to book us a hotel room for the night of his cousin’s wedding, so I am currently chilling out in our suite before the reception starts. We leave Edmonton tomorrow, but tonight is for partying – the ceremony was at noon and was short but sweet (and surprisingly heavy on the jebus – I keep forgetting that the majority of the norms really buy into the whole “give yourself unto god” thing).

I’m slowly but surely kicking the ass of my sinus cold. Tonight should do wonders for my breathing tubes – we’re in a non-smoking room, as opposed to the pro-smoking house. It’s comfy there, but I can’t breathe and my cold is not helping matters. At this rate, I’ll be better just in time to go back to work on Tuesday. Yay?

Okay, I have a king-sized bed to hog for the next couple hours.

elk

Posted in everyday kimli by

We saw many an elk on our way to Edmonton:

  • deer elk
  • elk elk
  • moose elk
  • bear elk
  • gopher elk
  • caribelk
  • horse elk
  • man-in-chicken-suit elk

Good times.

In other news, Ed sucks. He tried to bribe me into feeling better by saying we could go to Red Lobster tonight (shut up, red lobster is awesome and there are none in Vancouver because we big city folk are too klassy) but then later forgot and is instead making me eat leftovers. I tried really hard to feel better, my spirits buoyed by the thought of those damn addicting cheddar biscuits – only to come crashing down all emo’d up by his LIES. LIES! Oh, why does he continually turn my heart into a house of LIES? Probably because he is a JERK.

Also, I totally lied about feeling better – I feel horrible and my throat is coated in pointy, pointy death.

the world ends with cheese

Posted in everyday kimli, nerd by

Last night (okay, early this morning) I finished the main story of The World Ends With You, and I have this to say:

Square Enix, I forgive you for Final Fantasy X.

The game is fucking amazing. It has everything you could want in an RPG, and just when you think you’ve got it figured out the game throws more stuff at you and it’s a giant, beautiful mess of intricacy and fun.

I suppose my forgiving SE is a little trite yet overdue – three of my top ten DS games were Square Enix titles, and it HAS been a very long time since I suffered through the horror of Final Fantasy X. Hell, I even played through Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates, and while it wasn’t my *favourite* game out of the last 75 or so I’d played, it certainly wasn’t terrible. The World Ends With You more than makes up for any angst I had towards SE. I fucking *love* this game, and I’ve played enough DS titles to know what I like.

In fact, in no particular order, here is a list of DS titles that are my favouritest:

title – publisher – genre

*: imported from Japan; North American release is June 17th 2008 and you really ought to do yourself a favour and import a paddle
**: not available in North America; was only released in Japan and Europe which is unfortunate because it’s a hoot

Good times.

Other items to note:

  • Today is Shan’s birthday. Happy birthday, Shan! You are keen!
  • We leave for Edmonton in two days. Yesterday I packed clothing and shoes. Today I will pack toiletries and electronics. I have a separate duffle bag for device chargers alone, and I see no problem with this.
  • I am boycotting my vagina.

Hooray!

conversations with my mother

Posted in everyday kimli by

Watch your fire! You don’t want to have any fire; make sure you don’t put things over your fire!

You can’t do contract work forever – you’re not getting any younger, you know.

There are so many gang killings in Vancouver! Stay away from gangs, Keem – you’re not in a gang, are you?

You’re driving to Edmonton? Go slow! It doesn’t matter if it takes you 4 days to get there, just tell them you drove slow to be safe! (note: Vancouver to Edmonton is a 12-hour drive)

My back is really bad these days but I won’t go to the chiropractor because the old biddy (the receptionist) there is a stupid bitch. Maybe I will go back there and see the doctor and tell him that the old biddy is a stupid bitch.

Oh, the endless source of confusion and amusement. Happy mother’s day, mom. I’ll pee in a bucket tonight and think of you.

Wait, that’s gross.

Oh well.

the flavour of suck

Posted in adventure, everyday kimli by

Best of Vancouver my ASS.

I am seriously tired of The Straight’s “Best of” list continually being wrong and/or disturbing. When we first moved to Vancouver, we didn’t really have any idea of what to eat, so we relied on the hip and cool local rag to steer us in the general direction of delicious. Time and time again we were disappointed in what was considered “the best” in any number of categories – either someone has been buying reader votes, or a lot of people have just plain crappy taste.

Two examples spring immediately to mind: year after year, Las Margaritas on West 4th has been voted as the best Mexican food in the city. Even allowing for extra generous points knowing that you really can’t get good Mexican food in Canada, Las Margaritas was *terrible*. Overpriced food, poor service, and the worst crime a “Mexican” restaurant can commit: bland food. Salsa has flavour, people. It is not just watered down ketchup. Even with our warnings, friends have gone to Las Margaritas to check it out for themselves and came away with the same verdict: holy shit, that was awful. It’s places like this that make me happy to drive over the border into Bellingham, Washington to dine at Mi Mexico, which has some of the finest Mexican food I’ve ever had. Fie on you, Las Margaritas. You are no good.

Example number two: Mr. Pickwick’s Fish & Chips. My parents instilled into me a love of halibut, and every once in a while I get a craving for some good old fashioned fish n’ chips. We’ve had success at places like the Cockney Kings, but it’s so far down East Hastings it’s a block outside of Port Moody and too far to get to from our home on the North Shore. Also good is Montgomery’s Fish n’ Chips in the Lonsdale Quay, and Ed really likes the fish from Charlie’s in Sinclair but I personally think their tartar sauce is kind of funky. My current favourite, though, is C-Lovers – reasonably priced, fast service, completely delicious and close to my house, so it’s a win all around.

For the sake of adventure this last weekend though, we decided to try out Mr. Pickwick’s. It’s usually voted as the best Fish n’ Chips in Vancouver, so we scooted to the Denman Street location for some dinner. Apparently, calling yourself a “bistro” and serving things on square plates means you can charge out the ass for your food. We tried the crab cakes for an appetizer. They were okay; nothing spectacular although they were plentiful for the price. The real crime, though, was the fish – while I am truly down with the irony of this complaint, the fish was *watery*. And overpriced. A standard 2-piece halibut and chips plate ran a good $8 more than any other place I’ve been to, and the quality was just not there for the price we paid. Ed and I can eat ourselves stupid at C-Lovers for $24 – our meal at Pickwick’s was $45 and nowhere near as tasty.

I’m done looking towards random strangers for the lowdown on decent food options. Seriously, any poll that has McDonald’s winning more than one category with no trace of the funny should just not be taken seriously. Fie on you, Reader’s Choice voters. Your taste buds are clearly made of stupid.