House cleaning sucks less when you wear PVC.
Category Archives: everyday kimli
rendering .. obsolete
The nausea has subsided, but my back pain is both raging and spectacular. I’ve been treating it with a heated Magic Bag at night and many drugs during the day, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much other than upsetting my already delicate stomach. I forgot my trusty Advil this morning, so I had to go to the store to buy a bottle of something – that something being Tylenol ULTRA RELIEF, which promises to, among other things, whiten my whites and make me more alluring to the opposite sex. I’d give all that up in a heartbeat if it would make my back stop hurting, though – what good will white whites and sexy times do me when I’m hunched over and moaning in pain?
Ed and I are taking tomorrow off from work in the name of errands. Among the things I plan to accomplish are a doctor’s appointment in which I demand to be placed on the free-for-all surgical list because I can’t afford to pay $3000 per foot; taking Ed’s broken DS to the Nintendo depot for fixin’; returning our empty bottles to the other, less fun depot to start our anniversary vacation fund; a haircut; removing furniture from our bedroom and donating it to whoever wants it; hunting for a Wii, meatballs. It’s pretty lame to take an entire day off to do all this, but I figger we can spend some Quality Time as well as tackle all the little things we SHOULD do but just never seem to get around to actually doing on account of our both being really lazy. There are even some Bonus Tasks we could do – sign up for memberships with the North Shore rec centres, laundry, buy a pug, hunt down the specific and fancy shampoo I require – our list of things we need to do is endless.
We’re also supposed to go to Victoria to see my mom, but I am a bad human and at times also a logical one. My back hurts, see. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it does. When we go to my mom’s house, I have to sleep on the world’s most uncomfortable leather loveseat. If my back didn’t hurt before going to my mom’s, it certainly would afterward – I don’t even want to think about the pain I’d be in if I tried to sleep on that thing in my current condition. The trip to see mom will have to wait, and it’s a shame because I really could use some guilt shoes. Perhaps the following weekend? We shall see, no?
I am going to make up an itemized list of things we need to do tomorrow, arranged by location and distance from the previous task. Super Anal – it’s not just a porn series, it’s my LIFE.
wouldja like to take a survey
Calling all bloggers: go forth and answer yonder survey, for Darren Barefoot hath spoken. You could win a prize, and who doesn’t like prizes? Communists, that’s who.
Seriously, though. It’s for a study on bloggers and why we do those things we do, and Darren is a mighty word warrior so you should help him out. Thanks!
urge to kill, rising
This might be a wee bit unreasonable – remember, I said might – but the sound of other people snoring makes me fly into a near-murderous rage.
Surely it’d be easier for them to stop pissing me off rather than my just tuning it out, right?
I’m going to go pummel Ed until he stops snoring now.
we are punk rawk
What an exhausting (but fun) weekend.
On Friday night, Josh Shan Ed and I went to the Billy Talent/Rise Against show at the PNE. Shan had bought us all tickets as an utterly insane Christmas gift, and we were all excited to see what is probably our collective favourite band (Rise Against) and to see a band we had heard were amazing live (Billy Talent), as well as getting in some good old-fashioned anti-establishment-themed punk rock action (Anti-Flag). We had assigned seating, but Ed has Connections and we were able to go down onto the floor to watch the show. I got some amazing pictures of the three bands (I love you, punk rock Tim) and the show was a blast of fun. I laughed so hard I cried on about four different occasions, and the hilarity continued at our post-punk-rawk trip to Dennys. Friday night was a night of awesome. Thanks, Shan! :D
We had a late night, but bravely decided to solider on with our Saturday plans – getting up early and driving south for Mexican food, shopping, and visits. Josh and Shan wanted new snowboarding gear, so we made a day of it – crossed the border, introduced Shan to Target, went to our favourite Mexican restaurant, spent the evening shopping at the factory outlets just outside Seattle, then popped in to say hello to Doug and Ali before driving back the same night. We got home just before 2am, utterly exhausted but quite content with the 36 hours of Good Times we had. The shopping was mostly for Josh and Shan; I didn’t really need anything but couldn’t resist the pin-striped Converse I’d been ogling since our last visit because I am so totally punk rawk in a corporate sort of way.
Today is for nothing, and I can’t wait.
come on out of the e-closet
The internet tells me that it’s National De-Leurking Week. I always do as the internet bids, so I’m officially pleading for some love. Leave a comment! Let me know you’re out there! Tell me where you live on the internet so I may return the stalking favour!
I’m having an inordinately angsty Wednesday, so I could really use something to distract me from my bones. Nothing is particularly *wrong* .. I’m just tired and sore all over, and jealous that Josh was able to get a Wii before we did.
So, say hi. Please? I don’t bite unless you ask me to!
my underwear thinks i’m cool
While I violently steer away from wearing any sort of pant that features writing on the ass (for that matter, I steer away from wearing any sort of pant, period), I am not above buying and gleefully wearing underwear with things scrawled across the bottom. Today, my ass states (quite correctly) that I am POPULAR!, with stars and a flourish and also a marching band (my ass is large, ok). It’s not so much the message that I want to get across but the comfort factor – for some reason, underwear with ridiculous things on it is the most comfortable. I have a pair that says SUPERSTAR, two that declare my ass to be SIN CITY, and more than a few that trumpet my JUICY-ness out to the world. Ass writing is funny, as long as it’s hidden and/or avant-garde.
Amélie the Office Pug continues to be utterly adorable and completely unfair. She spent the morning whimpering and making eyes at me while trying to get on my desk, where I have a stash of her favourite treats (baby carrots). I’m not above trying to bribe the dog into loving me, but in the end it’s all moot since she doesn’t belong to me. Repeated exposure to the pug is doing little to ease my pug lust; it’s making me all that much more desperate for a wiggly dog of my very own to love and adore. I want a pug. Pug pug pug pug pug.
Monday night is not a good night for laundry. All the creepy crazies were at the Laundromat last night, and they all smelled bad. Fresh cigarette smoke billowing atop stale cigarette smoke is probably the most disgusting thing in the world, and all the dollar store laundry detergent is not going to help your cause – eww. Just go away.
Holy shit, am I ever cold.
in the space saddle again
Naked Furniture Building may never be the darling of the Olympics, but those of us XXXTREME enough to master the sport have our share of battle scars.
I’m back at work again, and my head is about to explode. Everything seems to be happening all at once – something about my being away for an entire week – and I’m barely keeping the cool for which I am so renowned. It absolutely doesn’t help that my uterus is misbehaving by cramping up my business four days early, and some incredibly stupid girls in the gas station gave me an ulcer by being so vapid it almost caused a black hole. My stress is giant and gaping. My stress is goatse.
I know I’ve promised a Vegas recap, but I don’t know when I’m going to have a free moment to get to it. I had a very good time, and was fortunate enough to work with some amazing people: John, Chris, Mike, Luz, Richard, Candace, Tatum, Drew, Cynthia – all of them went out of their way to make me feel welcome and special – almost embarrassingly so; I’m surprised I didn’t gain a hat size or two while I was out there. Mike even brought Marshmallow Fluff, peanut butter and Wonder Bread straight from Massachusetts so we could all have a traditional Fluffernutter Sandwich (surprisingly tasty). I got to hang out with Sara and Alana for a bit, had dinner with Bjorn, and made some friends. CES2K7 for the win.
No one called me Mama Cass, either.
Holy CRAP where did all this astronaut work come from? AHHHHHH!
spread on toast; enjoy
My alarm clock wasn’t set properly, and as a result I woke up late this morning. I’m not all that certain I’ve completely woken up at all; I’m operating in a thick fog of unknown and probably shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery like cars or the internet.
I’ve actually started this entry four times, each time deleting the text because it either made no sense or was incredibly boring. In desperation, I even turned to an online topic generator which spewed out things like “what was your favourite grade in school” and “where do your thoughts come from”; horrible topics that I wouldn’t touch with several ten foot poles. I must have refreshed the page a dozen times before I found a topic that wasn’t laden with treacle and/or so boring I could vomit fire: write a rhyming poem about your car.
WELL. This is something I can get behind! I proudly present to you my randomly generated topic for the day:
Ode to the Mazdabator
White 5-door hatchback
There’s only one catch that
Keeps my marbles abreast
Where’s my moon roof?
You wanted white
I caved without a fight
I only made that one small request
Oh, Mazdabator
You’re not a scooter
Or a Lexus Hummer Escalade
But I do appreciate your namesake:
Sticky hobo marmalade.
torture two.oh
It’s bad enough that I have two pug calendars that remind me daily that I do not yet have a pug, but this is just cruel:
There’s a PUG in our office. The video people have a PUG and they brought her into the OFFICE and I am BESIDE myself with the CUTENESS and emphasized WORDS.
This is absolutely NOT FAIR. I WANT A PUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
delicious juice dot com 