Category Archives: everyday kimli

culinary mastermind

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I’ve never been so glad to have a blinding headache in my life. I woke up this morning in a considerable amount of pain and figured I was in for another one of my delicious migraines, but lo! The pain subsided to a point where it could be downgraded to a mere tropical storm, and I am back in the space saddle again after a morning of much-needed darkness and silence.

In the spirit of trying New Things in the New Year, I am eating Chef Boyardee for the very first time ever. This is another reason why I can never have kids – children eat disgusting things I am not prepared to know about. “Mommy mommy can I have some macaroni and cheese?” “Umm, no. How about you try this lovely Torta di Zucca instead? It’s a roasted winter squash tart with toasted walnuts, sage and amaretto crème fraiche!” “.. I hate you, mommy.” “Yeah, well, I wanted a pug.”

SHAN arrives tonight, for keeps. Operation: Move Cool People into our Apartment Building is going as planned!

two thousand seven begins

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Welcome to the second day of the rest of your life 2007! I’m back at the Space Station for just four more days until I jet off to yet another exotic location to do that thing I do. At this rate, I’m going to forget how to do my job. In the meantime, it’s kind of comforting to be back – our office hole is dark and quiet (for the moment) and the torrential downpour outside is soothing to my still-alcohol-soaked brains.

I don’t really do resolutions, but I do have a specific set of goals for this year. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting to look back next January to see how many I was able to accomplish.

2007 Goals:

  • Buy a bicycle and use it
  • Reduce our debt through any means necessary (cue ominous music)
  • Get a PUG! Pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug pug!
  • Have something – anything – published in print and receive payment for my words
  • Save up for some new glasses
  • Become even more fabulous
  • Continue Operation: Fun
  • Prepare myself for foot surgery

That’s about it. The list is pretty doable, I’d say. I am definitely not one for overtaxing myself, nor am I not utterly lazy so my list does not include things like “climb mountains” or anything involving the words “run” and “marathon”. Fabulous girls don’t like to get sweaty unless we’re naked and being adored.

I suppose it’s backwards to introduce 2007 and THEN do your 2006 Year in Review, but that is just how I roll.

2006 was a good time. It started out violently – I lost my job at the overly corporate Space Station, but quickly found a new one at my current Space Station which has proven to be quite awesome. I traveled to four events; three of them independent of Inside the Game. I made numerous trips to Seattle, and even went home to Victoria a couple times. Ed and I moved from East Vancouver to North Vancouver in June, and it is good. Josh moved to Vancouver in November, and Shan will be joining him in two days. We have a great apartment, excellent friends, and loving cats. Stuff is good.

Here’s to making 2007 even gooder!

paralyzed with rage and island rhythms

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We had dueling parties last night! The idiots upstairs were having a party in which drunken people fell up the stairs and made all the noise in the known universe, and the idiots next door had another drum circle! Oh, it was totally awesome and in no way utterly confounding that people can have that little a clue about the whole “living in an apartment” thing. Luckily, most of the noise quieted down around midnight which was good because Ed started to get belligerent and wanted to kick some rich kid ass (we’re pretty sure the penthouse upstairs is paid for by the mommy of one of the drunk kids; they got the apartment because she was the one who viewed it and filled out the application and also the landlord was desperate to rent it). I immediately protested, because he never lets ME throw down and start fights in the hallway, but he brushed me off with some lame excuse about my being a delicate flower. Piffle, I say. Piffle and a kick to the nuts.

Last night Ed, Josh and I collectively lost whatever cool we had remaining after it was discovered that we spent much of the evening in a Laundromat doing 10 loads of carefully sorted laundry while discussing the pros and cons of various vacuum cleaner styles. We are losers. It’s a shame really, because I used to enjoy being cool. I suppose I will just hang up my video games for good, and take up window staring and drooling.

Tonight there will be alcohol, car parts, paycheques, scoldings, meatballs, bad drivers, and ‘nee. None of the above is important except for ‘nee and perhaps the paycheque. Yay!

the clam before the storm

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It’s the quiet time between holidays, and I don’t like it. I’ve already cleaned up most of the mess made by the boys, and we traded our Annual Thortilöc Wyatt for the return of Josh for All Time, but things will be quiet around here until Friday when the celebrations begin anew.

Alla and I are continuing our silent protest against the Scrooge-like atmosphere in the Space Station, and we are working from home this week. I’m sitting here in a bathrobe and Diet Coke – I had a little accident – and I am quite content, if cold and wet. It’s good that I get some relaxation in while I still can, because the end of the year is going to be hectic and will lead to what I’ve already dubbed the January of Trepidation.

I have but four days of work next week to lay out my plans for world domination before I’m off to Las Vegas for six days. Upon my return, a new astronaut will be starting at our space station and will be placed in my capable (if tiny and mutated) hands. In between all this, we will welcome Shan to Vancouver for keeps and have a belated Thortilöc celebration with her and Josh, as well as going about our regular business and trying to keep my soul from being devoured by certain people. We’re also down to our Emergency Salsa, meaning we need to go to Costco. I have trepidation about it all.

Still, I’m looking forward to our festive three-day New Year’s plans before I jump into January completely naked.

warm thortilöc wishes

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I really do enjoy Christmas. I know it’s all commercial and secular and blah blah blah let’s find problems with everything, but I love giving to my friends and loved ones and let’s face it, receiving is pretty darn awesome too. Someone suggested to me that Christmas was forced giving, but I don’t see it that way at all – it’s a chance for me to spoil people without being inappropriate (unless the gift itself is inappropriate, which, knowing me, is more likely to be the case than not). Not being Christian, I don’t celebrate Christmas with the whole baby Jesus aspect – I just see it as the time of year for fun and friends and gifts and pretty lights. I suppose I could make a big deal about it and come up with another name for the non-religious rituals we go through each year, but then I’d have to be all offended when people wished me a Merry Christmas instead of a Totally Tubular Thortilöc and frankly I just don’t have time for that kind of hassle.

Ed and I had our Annual Christmas Thortilöc Wyatt for the second year in a row, and we’ve been enjoying some good times. I made a fancy festive dinner that turned out quite lovely thank you, and now Ed and Wyatt are ROCKING OUT with Ed’s gift of Guitar Hero I and II from me and the cats. We still have two Thortilöc celebrations to go, too – there’s a pile of gifts under the tree going to Seattle, and we’ll party it up again when Josh and Shan are here for keeps in the new year. YAY! Thortilöc Time Fun for everyone!

I am completely fabulous, and as such, was spoiled accordingly. From Ed I received my long-coveted goatse ring from Tiffany’s (sorry Matt), an assortment of ginger goodies from Origins, and a Delilah Blackheart figurine from my desk. His parents play this game where they totally out-do themselves each year, and this was no exception – I received the 20th anniversary edition Optimus Prime, which is just fucking glorious. My collection now stretches to TWO shelves of Autobot leader goodness, and it makes me giddy in the pants to see so much awesome in my living room. I think there was some other stuff too, but I’m really just overwhelmed with it all. I LOVE the Thortilöc season, and it’s only just begun – next up is a trip to Seattle for assorted debauchery and sightseeing, and before I know it I’ll be off to Las Vegas for six freakin’ days of hard work and hard fun. Have I mentioned lately that I love my life? Because for all my angst and woe, it really is quite a lot of fun to be me.

I hope everyone had an excellent December 25th, regardless of what (if anything) you choose to celebrate!

time for jollies

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We picked up our Annual Christmas Wyatt at the train station today, and with that our holiday season has officially begun. In just a few moments we are going to get into our fancies and go out for some STEAK because meat is tasty. My heart wants me to be a vegetarian, but the rest of me loooooooves meat. I’ve been craving steak something fierce lately, and tonight my needs as well as my stomach will be fulfilled. Yum.

Someone Jesus’d us twice in the Wal-Mart parking lot today. Does that mean I’ve been saved twice, or do they cancel each other out?

deck the halls with balls o’ plenty

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Our Space Station had a little get together at the Lead Cosmonaut’s house last night. As a result, half the station is mysteriously absent and the other half is wincing at loud noises and shying away from bright lights. I am in the latter group as well, but for different reasons – I slept badly on my neck, and woke up with a very bad headache. Try explaining this to people who are hung over, though, and you’ll get a lot of blank stares and sly winks. It’s true, regardless of their vodka-fueled haze – I have a bad headache. Even if I DID get hangovers (which I don’t), the insignificant amount I drank last night (two store-mixed novelty shooters with the potency of fermented Kool-Aid) certainly didn’t cause this kind of suffering, since I not only drove home but was fine right up until my alarm clock went off. Ow, my head. Could you please read this a little quieter? Thanks.

It is time for a new digital camera. My current one, an HP 707R, was brought forth from the rectal cavity of the very devil himself and it is time to cleanse myself of this unholy piece of garbage in favour of something that oh I don’t know, maybe takes pictures instead of delivering image after image of nothing but black.

I’ve narrowed it down to five options, each more meticulously analyzed than the last. The current forerunners are:

  • The Nikon Coolpix S10
  • Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1
  • Canon PowerShot A710 IS
  • Canon PowerShot S3 IS
  • Canon PowerShot SD700 IS Digital ELPH

The camera I end up with has to be relatively small (I have tiny mutant elf hands); it must have image stabilization (I really do love caffeine), and it has to take a damn fine picture (because I can never have too many self portraits and pictures of my cats). I’ve read all the online reviews and have feedback on the S3 and the SD700 from people I trust, but I still can’t decide between the five. Help!

There’s one camera that I really do want – the Fujifilm Finepix Z5FD – but they pushed the release date back to March and I can’t wait that long. Ideally, I’ll have a new camera in my grubby tiny hands before I go to Vegas. I haven’t exactly asked Santa for one, but I think I’m getting some Christmas money from my mom which’ll go towards taking incriminating photos of her son-in-law naked. Weiner shots are totally awesome. Would you like to see some? Go on, treat yourself. You deserve it.

i am a good, good person

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It’s hard to concentrate at work when your brain checked out a week ago.

I’m really looking forward to Christmas, but not so much for the good times – it’s more the four days off that tickle my fancy just so. I’m exhausted and cranky almost all the time now, and it feels like I’m treading pudding. Chunky pudding that’s past it’s prime. It’s cold, it’s slimy, and I think something is nibbling at my toes. Oh, this is just not good at all.

Last night Josh and I played a hearty round of Good Samaritan. We went to Lonsdale Quay after work for some last minute gifts (well, last minute for me and first minute for Josh because he is a dumb boy), and we saw CRIME in the parking lot. As we were paying for parking, a giant blue pick-up truck backed out of his spot and into a beige sedan. He stopped for a moment, drove forward, then turned his wheel and left the lot. What the fuck, dude. You just HIT A CAR and you didn’t even stop? What an asshole. He left a pretty significant dent in the rear passenger door; one that would definitely cost some coin to be repaired. Josh tried to get his plate number, but it was dark and rainy and the jackass had one of those tinted reflective covers on his plate to stop photo radar from getting his plate number (they don’t work, by the way). Josh memorized what he thought he saw, and I wrote a note to the car owner telling him/her what happened and left the plate number we had. Then because it was raining, we put the note in a plastic bag and left it under their windshield wiper. I hope he goes to the police and tracks the asshole down, because that was a shitty thing to do. I know what it’s like to have someone damage your stuff then just drive off, so hopefully Josh and I were able to help them out and get several large heavy books thrown at the idiot in the pick-up truck. Grrr at nasty people.

So hey, I’m apparently going to Las Vegas. Wacky!