i hate you bed

The strep came back, the very next day week. The strep came back, I thought it was a goner! The strep came back, it just couldn’t stay awaaaaaay.

Yeah so my strep throat is back. I am not at all happy about this. It’s not as bad as the first time – the lumpy sore times appears to be isolated on the right side and it doesn’t quite feel like death needles in my food tube, but still. Kind of pissed. I’d never had any kind of strep throat (that I can recall) until last week, so this is all new and terrible and I hate it. I was supposed to be healthy all December, remember? That was the deal.

So, more bed rest. More antibiotics – penicillin, this time. This is going to be interesting, because once upon a time many years ago I was allergic to penicillin. Am I still? No one knows! It’s all so exciting and fun to behold! Sarcastic exclamation points!

SO GRUMPY.

one hundred

Today is my dad’s 100th birthday.

FullSizeRender (1)

Happy birthday, dad. I miss you.

safety eventually

Are you often outside after dark? Do you like not being hit by cars? Are you as fabulous as you possibly could be at this very second?

After 18 people were hit by cars within 48 hours last week, I thought about what I could do to be more visible at night. I’m short, often wear black, and while I am far too Canadian to jaywalk, drivers here are notoriously terrible at acknowledging pedestrians, bicycles, other vehicles, what’s going on around them, etc. I can watch out for myself all I want, but when the majority of those 18 people were hit at crosswalks where they had the right of way .. well, I wanted to do more.

Enter being fabulous! At Superstore this past weekend, I bought several strings of battery operated LED lights for $5 each. I keep them in my bag, and if I have to go outside after dark, I’ll wrap one around my bag or neck or head and turn it on. I’m more visible, I look awesome, and I can add more or different lights depending on just how fabulous I want to be. I have some colour LED lights I’ve been saving for the holiday season, but I might just break them out tonight so I can be safe and ridiculous at the same time.

I know that drivers are really the ones responsible for paying attention and not running people the fuck over, but this is a cheap, fun way to be a little bit safer when outside after dark. As an added bonus, you’re like a walking party!

You can get battery operated lights from many places – I’ve had them in years past, and purchased them from places like Ikea, Real Canadian Superstore, London Drugs, etc. They have them at Walmart, if you’re into that sort of thing. The coloured LEDs were more expensive ($17/string) because they’re actually meant for bicycles and are built differently, but the cheap ones run $3-$5, have on/off switches, last for ages on AA batteries, and don’t take up much room at all:

so safe!

so safe!

You don’t look crazy AT ALL when wearing them, either:

not crazy!

So, yeah. Be safe, everyone!

lesbian book drive

One of the things I’ve done while sick with a stunning variety of diseases was cull the books on our shelves. This was a timely thing to do, as there was a charity book drive at work – so instead of taking the books to a donation bin, I hauled them into the office for other people to pick through.

At least, I took most of them into the office. The following is a list of titles I didn’t think proper to unleash on my coworkers:

  • The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
  • Best Lesbian Erotica 2000/2001
  • Penis Pokey
  • Glossary of Insurance Terms
  • The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus
  • Hot + Bothered 4
  • Taboo: Forbidden Fantasies for Couples
  • Net.Sex
  • The Ethical Slut
  • The Witches’ Bible
  • Best Women’s Erotica
  • The Trainer’s Handbook
  • Best American Erotica 1997
  • The Big Penis Book (just kidding, I’d never donate that because it’s awesome)

So if you want to see what erotica was like before the internet was an essential service, want to have sex like a lesbian, or need to know insurance terminology, hit me up.

Also, I dragged myself to a walk-in clinic last night after a day and a half of not being able to swallow or talk (I gave a presentation at work that consisted of me typing things into Powerpoint while mutely waving at people from the stage) and also looking down my throat and seeing huge gross white splotches where there ought not be any splotches at all. Diagnosis: strep throat. I have antibiotics, a recommendation not to go a-boning, permission to abuse the Advil, and orders not to work for the rest of the week (which I am ignoring, and working from home while dressed as a sheep). I still can’t swallow, but my fever is down, so I consider it a win. I do miss food, though. And wearing clothes. Is November over yet?

enough

FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

I have been sick for the ENTIRE FUCKING MONTH of November, and I am PISSED OFF. I don’t really get sick-sick often – a migraine here, a kidney infection there – so to be utter laid out with the flu, and then a cold, and then a coldflu, and now this fucking ridiculous fiery baseball in my throat .. it’s too much. I hate you, November. You are just THE WORST.

It’d be bad enough if it was just me with this various diseases, but Ed’s sick too. I think we’re feeding off each other – as soon as one of us starts to feel better, the other releases additional germs into the air and we keep infecting ourselves with convoluted new strains of gross like an Abbott and Costello bit gone horribly wrong.

I’m so tired of feeling like shit. I’m tired of thinking I’m better, going into work, then having to work from home for the next three days because something new and awful is going on inside my lungs. I miss outside. I miss my friends. I know these are petty complaints compared with what’s happening in the world around me, but I’m just so over everything happening in my own little outbreak bubble.

Also, I am tired of Confluence. It’s like an ugly Sharepoint.

they’re onto something

As I mentioned below, I spent much of last week with the flu. I had full body aches and pains and a persistent headache that would not. go. away. no matter what I did. There were no sniffles involved, just a whole lot of soreness and water drinking and worry, since we were flying to Edmonton on Friday for a long overdue visit. While I wasn’t feeling 100% by the time we headed east, I was feeling better and then the freezing ass asscold froze the germs (and everything else) solid.

Today was my first day back in the office in a week. People kept asking me “How are you feeling?”, followed up by “Are you sure you’re better?” I was getting a little insulted – are you saying I LOOK sick?! – until I got home this evening.

Now that we’re back in the balmy Vancouver breeze, the germs have thawed. My flu is gone, but now I have an awesome cold – and so does Ed. Hooray! We are totally awesome and riddled with parasites!

I guess I did look like crap, after all. I don’t care though:

I AM SLOTH

friendmas revisited

This year, instead of our standard gift exchange plans (operation: buy all the things for all the friends), we’re changing things up a little. We’re all at a point in our lives where time with each other is more important than presents (how dreadfully adult), and with finances kind of tight all around (mortgage reassessments, boats, ten thousand vet visits), we’re falling back on the tried-and-true draw method: draw one name and buy that person a gift. Not satisfied with how uncomplicated and cracker platter that sounds, we’re introducing a bit of a twist: along with the name, you also draw a theme that your gift must be based around.

This has all the potential of being hilarious, but is also proving to be somewhat difficult. In addition to the good theme suggestions we’ve got (colours, time periods, edible things that aren’t candy), we’re also getting suggestions that are .. somewhat esoteric:

  • HTML5 Canvas
  • The 1972 Stanley Cup run
  • Poisonous fish
  • That issue of GI Joe where Serpentor claims to have invented pizza in 52BC
  • Licorice
  • Radar O’Reilly

I wish there were more of us participating in the exchange, because this is going to be fun and/or confusing. Still, I’m somewhat sad that we’ve made the change at all – friends are the only people other than Ed I get to do Christmas for, and I love buying presents for others. On the other hand, themes!

In other news, I survived the flu and a brutal cold snap in Edmonton and eating four donairs in three days and voting, so now I’m going home to put on a sloth onesie. Wednesday, I have defeated you.

this is the only thing i remember from my gi joe comics.

this is the only thing i remember from the marvel gi joe comics.

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