style goals: potato

There’s a Fancy Party coming up, and I have nothing to wear.

It’s true that 90% of my closet is fancy, but it’s all casual fancy. This is my one chance a year to get super fancy, and I am finding my closet lacking.

It doesn’t help that my overall look, shape, and aura is that of a potato. As useful and delicious as potatoes are, it is really a defeating thing to be. I mean, I try very hard to remain upbeat and all “rah rah I love me” at all times (even when utterly unwarranted), but today I am extra potato. I’m trying to think of how I could dress up for Fancy Times. It’s not working, because potato. Why bother? When you dress up a potato, all you have is an embellished potato. A potato with sequins. Cocktail potato. Clubbin’ potato. Aww, look at that adorable potato. It thinks it’s people!

I am a glum potato.

me in happier potato times

me in happier potato times


so about those things

In spite of the rage in the previous post, my boredom and self-pity won out and I ended up purchasing the game at full price. Since then, I’ve been basically glued to the couch with a controller in hand – turns out, I really like Assassin’s Creed. And London. Probably mostly London. I’m halfway through the game, and determined to finish it before I crack open Fallout 4 (my copy isn’t arriving until Thursday, so as long as I avoid the entire internet, I’ll be fine). This is the first Assassin’s Creed game I’ve ever played, and I’ve been having a lot of fun, mostly because it’s the closest I’m ever going to get to being able to crawl around my favourite London monuments without being thrown in jail/falling to my death. Also, I’ve gotten SO GOOD at assassinating people! This will undoubtedly come in handy the next time I have to go to the mall.

So, um, I’m going to Barcelona in February. Does anyone know how to Spain? I do not know how to Spain. Any pointers you could give me on how to Spain would be greatly appreciated, because I am out of my element here (my element being restricted to anything that is requirement based, London, or assassinating people for fun).

I am excited to see additional parts of Europe! At last, “International Kimli of Mystery” will be more than just Western Canada, the Pacific Northwest, and 20 square blocks of London!

artist's rendition of me in barcelona, totally to scale.

artist’s rendition of me in barcelona, totally to scale.

your ux is bad and you should feel bad

I’m sick. I want to buy a video game to take my mind off throwing up.

  • Log into PS4
  • Add game to cart
  • Enter discount code I have
  • Try to pay: Enter Paypal info
  • “An error has occurred”
  • Try again
  • “An error has occurred”
  • Use credit card instead
  • “Your credit card number is not valid”
  • The fuck it isn’t
  • Try again
  • “Your credit card number isn’t valid”
  • Ed says to try his instead
  • And also use the Playstation iPhone app so I can use my phone instead of the onscreen keyboard
  • My password doesn’t work
  • Reset my password
  • Try to buy the game on the website
  • “This voucher does not work on this medium”
  • Try to add Paypal account to my Playstation account via the web
  • “This Paypal account is attached to another Playstation account”
  • Try to add credit card to my account via the web
  • “Your credit card number isn’t valid”
  • Try Ed’s card
  • “Your credit card number isn’t valid”
  • FUCK
  • Try the web app
  • In the Name field only, space is an invalid character
  • Who the fuck designed this thing
  • This is the worst fucking UX I’ve ever had outside that time I tried to Microsoft
  • Log into Ed’s Playstation account instead, because that’s where my Paypal is
  • Add game to cart
  • Type in discount code
  • “This discount code has already been redeemed”
  • Take up knitting
  • Knit beautiful scarf
  • Strangle the fuck out of my Playstation with it because fuck this bullshit I’m already sick on Halloween with food poisoning you goddamn asshats just let me sneak around London and straight up murder some people because I am feeling VERY VIOLENT RIGHT NOW
  • No game for Kimli
  • Consider vomiting on the PS4 out of spite


Everything about my trip was great, but obviously some things were super ultra great and stood out above the rest. Here, then, are the absolute highlights of my trip to the UK:


I really liked Shoreditch. Being from Vancouver, gentrification is comforting and familiar to me. Also, one of my favourite things to do is wander around with my camera and see what I can find, especially when there’s awesome graffiti about. Shoreditch had this in spades, and I wish I had spent more time there taking it all in. It’s a major art destination in London, so there’s a really cool vibe about the place that was only slightly intimidating – but mostly, there was lots to see. The picture below was taken on my first full day in London, and is probably one of my favourite shots from my trip.

o most holy patron saints of urban culture

Secret Cinema

I’m trying really hard to branch out of my shell and do new things, so when my friend asked if I wanted to go to Secret Cinema, I said “okay!” before stopping to find out what exactly I was agreeing to. This is a good thing, because I probably would have balked hard at the price tag (£70 holy shit). That being said – it was totally worth it. It was a crazy experience, and I loved every minute of it. No cameras or phones were allowed, so I have nothing to share .. but if you ever get a chance, go to a Secret Cinema production. Especially if you love the movie being shown. You won’t regret it.

Brompton Cemetery

I had planned to try to go to Highgate Cemetery, but a friend suggested I check out the cemetery along Old Brompton Road. It was really close to my home base, so I went for a walk on a gorgeous fall afternoon. I find cemeteries to be peaceful, reflective places, so as I walked I admired the crumbling headstones and mausoleums, thinking about the lives of those contained within. I didn’t catch the name of the old lady ghost who yelled at me, because she was sitting on her tomb and I didn’t want to get too close what with the danger of ectoplasm transfer and all, but she (and her forbidden fox) did add a lot to my experience.

not shown: ghosts, mean old ladies who may or may not be ghosts, foxes

Tate Modern/Bankside

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really “get” modern art – but my love of the Tate Modern has little to do with the art within, and more to do with the location. There’s a cafe on Level 3 with two balconies that overlook the river, and there are some great views of St. Paul’s and the Millennium Bridge. On this particular day, I was feeling pretty homesick and sorry for myself .. until I got to the Tate. There’s a busker in the picture below who was just awesome, and if I didn’t have to pee so badly I could have stayed outside for hours listening to his rock n’ roll stylings. I looked at art, tried to find penises (there weren’t any – last June the Tate Modern had some Mapplethorpe prints, but not this time), and went to the cafe to hang out on the balconies, where I instantly fell in love with everything all over again.

rock n’ rooooooll

*happy sigh*

Sky Garden

I’ve already written about the Sky Garden and why it was amazing, but it was truly one of the highlights (no pun intended) of my trip. I had no idea this place existed, and literally found it on a Buzzfeed list or something the day before I went. It was pretty incredible, and something I would drag people to over and over again. I actually tried to go again before the end of my trip, but I specifically wanted an evening visit and none were available.

so fancy!

The Shard’s Bathroom

Yes, the Shard was very nice and pretty and technological, but the epic bathroom view was a sheer delight to stumble upon and utterly made my evening because I have a dumb sense of humour.


an exciting place to pee!

bridge! hi bridge!


The Roman Baths were cool and all, but it was the town itself that really wowed me. I had no idea the extent of the buildings until we were on the bus and driving away – next time, I’m going to explore the hell out of those hills. I’m truly sorry I only got three hours in Bath (and 2 of those were spent looking at old water), because I loved it there.

the hills are alive with old houses and shit

Portobello Market

I’m still not thrilled about the guy who stroked my face and I was grumpy as all hell when I got there, but once I settled into the swing of things I had a really good time at Portobello (and surrounding) Markets.

hey it’s that place that it is

Savile Row

I’m a little sheepish about this one, because I am way too cool to fangirl – but I love love love the Kingsman: The Secret Service movie (mostly because it’s so very British but also for many reasons: the male stars are lovely to look at, the female lead isn’t just a love interest, and it’s just so very British), and one day in London I wandered down Savile Row to find the tailor shop that stood in for the Kingsman in the film. I took many pictures of the place, ignoring how dumb I felt – and was totally rewarded for my nerd ways when I saw the Kingsman logo on the windows of the shop as a nod to fans. SQUEEE! I actually watched the movie on the plane home, and was giggling at all the places I had just been. Totally fun.

fangirl squee!

manners maketh man

Gladstone’s Owls

OWLS! I held owls. They were awesome. More owls please!



Loved it, as I was fairly sure I would. Still, my new goal is to get Ed to Scotland and explore it some more. Two days was not enough.

so pretty!

and OLD!

Camden Market/Canal Boat Ride

Another first. Loved it, except for the annoying and loud hen party happening at the rear of the boat. Still, would definitely do this again – total highlight.


Platform 9 3/4

This was fun, if weirdly commercial. In 2011, King’s Cross was under some heavy pre-Olympic construction, and Platform 9.75 was relocated. It was tucked away in a random corner, and much less of everything:

2011: no owl, no queue, no professional photographer, no nearby store to sell you all the things

2015. not shown: me

Museum Night

Look at this shit right here:

It was a good, good trip.

london in numbers

I’m home! I love home!

  • Number of days away: 26
  • Pictures taken: several thousand, but 1517 made the public album
  • Movies watched when I gave up on plane sleep both to and from London: 7
  • Awesome days had: 22 (minus 2 for travel ((I hate flying)), one for the day I was sick, and one for the day my insomnia was so bad I was unable to function)
  • Amount of time spent in Bath: 3 hours
  • Amount of time I wish I had spent in Bath: 3 days
  • How much I had to spend to get all my extra luggage home: $300
  • Public urination witnessed: 2
  • Alcohol consumed: 1
  • Diet Coke consumed: lots and lots, but tempered with equal amounts of water
  • Tea towels purchased: NONE
  • Lapel pins purchased instead: 13
  • Museums visited: 7? That doesn’t seem right. I think it was more than 7.
  • Shoes purchased: None!
  • Cardigans purchased: 6 (damn you Primark)
  • Number of days by which my trip was too long: 10
  • Secrets whispered into the wind: 23
  • Time I had been officially back in Canada before I started bugging Ed about going to Scotland with me: 14 minutes
  • Number of items waiting for me at the house that I had no recollection of ordering before I left: 3
  • Total number of fun had: 17.53 million

My entire trip was one of those “once in a lifetime” things, and I’m so so so grateful I got to go. I solo travelled! To strange and exciting new places (as well as strange and exciting old places)! I saw things and did things and it was all so great and fun! And now I’m home!

As mentioned above, the pics I took are online in Google Photos for lookin’. I will inevitably be posting some here and on Instagram in the upcoming weeks, but if you want to see several hundred pictures of the Tower Bridge taken from different angles, go hog wild.

edinburgh is made of leaves and rainbows

yeah, ali.

boadicea is going to kick your ass.

on home

Today is my last full day in London. As dictated by the past, I’m spending the day in the V&A and reflecting on my trip (and figuring out how I can come back). 

It’s funny. I’ve spent the past week pining for home, but now that I leave in less than 24 hours, I don’t want to go. Don’t get me wrong – I desperately miss Ed and the cats and my bed and all my stuff – but I wish they were here instead of there, and that THIS was our home. I don’t want to go back to Vancouver. I want my family and life to be HERE. 

I’m sad about leaving, even though I really need to be home. The cold that landed on me earlier this week has blossomed into a sinus situation, and I am dreading the 9.5 hour flight like you wouldn’t believe. I need hugs and a hot bath and strong drugs. I wish those things were here. 

When I get home, I’ll share the link to the picture gallery from my trip as well as the standard recap by bullet point. Did I have any epiphanies? Did I learn any life lessons? Did I really and truly need to buy that velveteen purse shaped like a cat’s face (spoiler: hell yes)? All that and more, when I return to that place where we’re gonna vote out Harper on Monday!

sup, darwin

right on schedule

This isn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my last few days in London, but I suppose it was inevitable – I’m sick. It hit hard and fast, and I’m hoping it leaves the same way because I still have some things I want to do before I leave. I’ve resigned myself to spending today in bed, and hoping some rest and Advil cures what ails me (seems to be a cold, altho I’m a bit feverish with a sore throat). I’m not going to lie, this does suck – I don’t have much by way of food available, and nothing close by I can pop out to. I can likely order some food in a bit later, but right now I am all kinds of petulant and self-pitying with no one to take care of me and cater to my fevered whims. WHINE! I want to feel better!

Since I can’t do much else but upload photos (happening now, gonna take a while) and write, here’s the post I intended to put up tomorrow:

I’ve now been in the UK for three weeks. That’s enough time to form some habits, so here is a list of thing that are now second nature to me:

  • Calling people cunts
  • Paying to pee
  • Eating fish that isn’t halibut or salmon
  • Using a transit card system that works
  • Dodging selfies and selfie sticks, to a point – if you take too long to get the perfect shot, I’m moving into position
  • Drinking all the water ever
  • Wearing a tiny backpack
  • Getting around more by bus than tube – this is relatively new, thanks to Google Maps having the entire UK transit system integrated into the app. Often times the fastest or most direct way of getting somewhere is by bus, so I’ve spent much less time on the tube than usual.
  • Uber, for when I can’t possibly walk another step and/or my pre-booked cab doesn’t show up (or claims they did show up and argues with me in an illiterate fashion – full saga to be posted later)
  • Hanging my laundry to dry (still not a fan of crunchy jeans, tho)
  • Walking until I can’t feel my feet
  • Chorizo in everything. It’s awesome.
  • Whispering secrets into the wind
  • Going entire days without speaking (except to whisper the aforementioned secrets)
  • Sleeping with the bedroom door closed, to block out the impossibly loud ticking of four clocks in one small room

Some of those are good habits I hope to keep when I return to Canada, others I could live without.

I need to lie down now.

Here is a picture.

leadenhall market

leadenhall market


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