I am quite convinced that this cold/flu/ebola/astral aids has actually killed me and I am stuck in some sort of social media limbo. So deep is my belief that I am no longer able to count myself among the living that it would hardly be fair to say that I am “live” blogging anything – so today I present to you a uniquely dead perspective of Northern Voice ’09: Social Media of the Damned.

0910: I’m sitting in the theatre waiting for the keynote presentation to start. I’m surrounded by awesome – Miranda, Tracey, Darren, Reilly, Monica, and other people I can’t see because I’m not so dead that I can do the 360 degree head spin thing. Oh, we’re getting started. Sweet.

It appears to be standing room only in here. NV has sold out for the last 3 years and Saturday is by far the busiest day. Lots of new faces, which is cool. Tons of people here for the first time.

Floor was just handed to Kris Krug, who just flew in from NYC (and boy are his arms tired). Running down the list of organizers, giving out some props.

First Keynote speaker taking the floor: Nora Young from CBC.

Miranda is the only one in our row who is not using a Mac. Everyone point at her and laugh.

Apparently I should be starting each post with “AHOY!”.

I kind of feel guilty for owning a power drill now. I think I need to justify owning it – I’m going to drill some holes tonight. Holes for everyone! Global holes! Let’s share the love (and the holes)!

I could drill glory holes. Glory holes are awesome.

I’m having some issues breathing – really hope I don’t have a panic attack. I’m sitting in the middle of my row and there’s too many things on my lap for me to easily get up and go breathe. I really fucking hate being sick and am completely done with this whole illness thing.

0951: Next keynote speaker: Rob Cottingham who will be talking about “teh funny” while Nancy free-form draws what he’s saying. I haven’t been able to catch any of Nancy’s workshops at NV – she does a lot of things with art and free form and coloured chalk, which is right up my alley because I enjoy scribbling and drawing (even if all my drawings turn out really a) bad and b) perverted). I’ll have to try harder for next year and maybe actually REMEMBER the sessions I want to attend in advance instead of winging it.

Hah – we’re allowed to heckle the keynote on Twitter, as long as we use the (coincidentally) 145-character #hashtag.

Old people are applauding the fact that Social Media doesn’t belong solely to the young. I’m not sure where I fit in this bold new vision – I am not nearly as young as some people think I am, yet I don’t think I am old.

I think I may have to give up on carving myself a real identity on this here internet and just embrace my buoyant assets and the attention they seem to bring. If someone reads my words because I have boobs, I guess it’s better than no exposure – no pun intended – at all.

Then again, I’m probably just putting too much thought into this. I’ll stop thinking now.

Rob is attempting to start a new meme: 3 People You’ve Cheated On Your Spouse With. Okay, I’ll play – who wants to help me complete this meme?

1034: Found myself some orange juice and water during the coffee break. It’s not caffeine, but it’ll do for now – and who knows, maybe the fortified vitamin C will help. I have some super duper strength Motrin in my bag that I’ll have to break out soon to keep going. My flu thing seems to be morphing into a cold, which is neither good nor bad – just annoying.

The next session is called Making the Radio Station of the Future On The Web – it’s amusing to me that I seem to be doing this whole thing backwards, as my time on internet radio came before my blog did. I know this topic has nothing to do with game casting, but I still feel that little twinge when I think about it – I miss casting video games. In fact, right now I miss video games period. As much fun as Northern Voice always is, I would give someone else’s left arm to be at home in bed with cats and my DS and the new games I bought yesterday: I feel like crap.

I wonder if CBC Radio 3 has a No Nickelback guarantee.

Having some connection issues here today – keeps dropping a lot of people. Something about a university building crammed full of people with multiple devices sharing a free wifi signal .. here’s hoping it comes back soon, because a lot of people get cranky when they can’t get outside.

CBC HAM !! Awesome.

1140: Talking about branding and personal identity. Monica is asking the panel how long they’ve been online – a few surprising answers; one girl started using the internet in ’06. I wonder how far back activity goes in the rest of the audience – I consider myself having been online since 1991 and the STS as an early form of social media. I’ve been around since the dinosaurs, it seems.

I’m not sure why I’m so surprised at exactly how much people censor themselves online and how they control what they put out there, but I am. I’ve said this before, but I don’t censor myself at all. I suppose I should care more about what of myself I hang out for public viewing, but I really don’t. I’m not ashamed of who I am, or anything I’ve said – sure, some of it is embarassing, but there isn’t anything I would deny as having come from my fingertips. Will that hurt me down the road? Maybe. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to run for office, or become a CEO of a conservative company, but those aren’t things I want out of life so I don’t really care.

Some people seem to keep things clean (or at least PG13) because they know there are children (family members or otherwise) reading their site(s). This is another area that simply doesn’t apply to me – I don’t have any kids I’m trying to protect, and I also .. don’t care. If I’m not going to behave because little Susie can’t handle my version of the truth, what makes you think anything else would keep me in line?

I kind of wish I was on this panel, because I seem to be the opposite – I’m an uncensored, unbiased lunatic with too much time on my hands and I don’t apologize (much) for the content I generate, be it pretty butterflies or abortion or my own criminal underworld dealings.

Then again, I suppose there is a level of secrecy I try to keep. I don’t use my real last name on this website or on Facebook, although my name has been everywhere online before. It’s a silly ruse, but I stand by it – having a large online presence and a unique first name sort of make it hard to really hide. I used to be known as “DeeAy” everywhere due to the game casting, but I’ve been phasing that out for some time now and using my “real” name as my only internet mask. Googling my full name still gets you something – I can’t actually check, gg wireless – but looking for just “Kimli” gets you a lot more than going balls out with the snooping.

If all this disclosure does bite me in the ass one day, at least it will make for one hell of a story to tell.

Am I worse off or better off not having to worry (or care) about family finding my website?

1232: Lunchtime note to self: Organize a Scooter Demo Party!

1504: I had to give up – I’m at home now. Instead of getting better, I seem to be getting worse and I decided to do the smart thing and take myself away from crowds of people. I really hate to miss the rest of Northern Voice, but I am feeling just awful and I don’t want to spread any more germs than I have to so .. I threw in my towel. I’m at home, naked and with a cat in my lap, and waiting for the XXXTRA strength Tylenol Night to kick in. I’ve *got* to get over this thing by tomorrow, because I can’t miss any more work. Send me healthy thoughts, please, and I promise to get Ed to take over the writing if I should die from this avian bird sars I have.