Take a little bit from column A, add a dash of column B, and there you have it: a shiny new AuDHD diagnosis. My pedigree has been updated to include all the new letters, and let me tell you:
I am delighted.
I mean, beyond the satisfaction of vindication, I’m actually really stoked about this. It all comes down to confirmation that all of this (*frantic random gesturing*) has a REASON and that reason is I’m wired just as differently as I’d always thought.
The sheer amount of glee and relief I’m feeling after the letter sprinkling is really neat: I hadn’t realized an actual diagnosis would come with such a sense of .. freedom? Joy? Mild cramping? I’m not sure how to react, so I’ll go with my default and kind of flap around a bit excitedly, making grandiose plans that will never come to fruition.
There’s work to do, though. I actually think that my Au side is the neatest fucking thing ever (for someone with such a bad self image I sure think I’m great), so there’s nothing there I really want to fix or CBT* out of my system. The DHD is another story: I’m looking into treatment options, because I’m tired of myself. I’m tired of fighting my own instincts to try and accomplish things. I’m tired of constantly doing 15 things at once because I can’t sit still and fucking FOCUS. I used to be able to focus like a madman. Now there are squirrels everywhere and they’re all on fire and the circus is coming to town but I still need to create this doc architecture, and it’s so much harder than it has to be.
Now that I’m in the club, is there a bumper sticker I could get? A badge, or a lanyard? I was actually hoping for a diagnostic reveal cake, but I couldn’t decide on a colour combination to convey “AuDHD, Inattentive Type” in a moist crumb with buttercream frosting.
Better batten those hatches, though: this newly minted autist wants to talk about Transformers and Eurovision. That’s a thing I get to do, apparently. How very exciting for me and my captive audience (usually the cats)!
*: There is no universe in which I live that “CBT” doesn’t mean “cock ball torture” and not “cognitive behavioural therapy”.
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Congratulations! I know when my kid had Austism added to his voluminous collection of diagnoses, it really helped us better understand him and find ways to help him function in the world around us.
Ditto for my other kid, who recently got an anxiety diagnosis. We thought it was AuDHD, but nope. So now I’m able to better understand why he doesn’t do some of the things we want him to. I am somewhat of an expert on avoidant behavior.