Where are my jollies? I know it’s only the 5th of December, but usually by this point I am ripe – and have been for at least a week – with the spirit of the holiday season. Right now, I have nothing. Nada. Not one ounce of excitement, no lust for figgy pudding, and nary a trace of sugared plum dancing in my head. Where’s the fun? Why aren’t I soaked in it?

We’ve put up our tree already, and it’s very pretty. I’ve started buying presents for my friends and loved ones, and have already wrapped some. Usually any one of those acts would fill me with holiday glee, but not this time – instead of bubbling over with boughs of holly, I’ve got a whole lot of weary on my shoulders. I hope this goes away, because I love being excited about Christmas. I get almost ticklish with the anticipation of present-giving, and I have to keep myself from giving everyone their presents early because I’m so excited. Everything just seems like a huge chore right now – I have a list of things I need to buy for people, and instead of thinking about what fun I’ll have wrapping gifts and writing silly notes, it just seems like a huge hassle. Part of my woe is financial; I can’t even start this list until the 15th of the month and shopping will just be that much more annoying by then. I know that the few things I’ve asked for are pretty much unattainable because of our geographical location, and IOUs make me sad and wary because of the Christmas That Wasn’t several years ago. I know our Christmas might be pretty lonely this year because everyone we know has other plans and won’t be in town. I know I’m not getting a pug. I know I miss my dad, and his birthday is coming up which’ll make me even sadder. I’m tired and sad all over, and this just sucks.

I want my jollies back, please. This holiday apathy is just no fun at all.