I am getting the distinct impression I Tommy Westphall’d my entire childhood until 1991.
I’ll wait a second so you can Wiki the reference and get yourself comfortable inside my head –
Okay then. I am worried about the state of my past. I’ve been online since the dawn of time, and in that time frame, I haven’t found anyone from my past.
Elaborate? Gladly. As the internet grew, I hopped on the bandwagons of all the latest “make and find friends!” fad websites. Most of the time I used these sites to keep in touch with people I already talked to on a regular basis, or to make myself look super cool by seeming to have many friends. In all the time I’ve been online, through all the many different friend-collecting sites, I have never found ANYONE that I was friends with in school. I’ve used classmate finding sites, MySpace, FaceBook, Orkut, Friendster – you name it, and I have an account there and have tried in vain to find anyone I knew in real life before I received my first computer with modem. Every person I know today I know from AFTER the computer was my only social outlet – all my oldest friends are from the STS. I think back and say “Oh, I’ve known ‘nee and Brooks and Mike and Matt forever!” – true, but only if you think of “forever” as starting after 1991. Elementary school, junior high, senior secondary – can’t find anyone. My best friends, my worst enemies, people I never had any dealings with yet I remember their names – nothing. No sign of them anywhere. Can it really be that out of 13 years of school acquaintances, I am the ONLY ONE who uses the internet? That seems incredibly unlikely – we didn’t graduate (or in my case, not graduate) so long ago that technology would be far beyond the capabilities of our generation, especially when you consider that we are (were?) the very definition of Generation X. Where IS everyone? Why can’t I find ANY of my classmates online?
What other conclusion can I come to, other than “they never existed”? Did I dream my entire life until 1992? Was my entire childhood just a fantasy? Did I retcon everything I knew before 1991? Holy shit, am I the Matrix?
Great. Now I’m not going to be able to talk to anyone without wondering if they’re real or just a figment of the Kimli Wangzilla Universe.
On the upside, that would make everything really and truly all about me. Hah!