victorian pie

My 20th (oh god) high school reunion is this summer, and I’m debating whether or not I should go.

A lot of people are wildly divided on reunions, and I’m not really sure where I fall. I didn’t have a bad time in high school – but I didn’t have a great time, either. School was just something I did between work and band practice, and I really don’t have any strong feelings about it one way or another. I suppose I’m lucky; I wasn’t bullied in high school. I wasn’t super popular, either – I was .. well, I wasn’t invisible. I had friends. I knew people and people knew me. And that’s about it, really.

Yeah, I have a lot of bad memories from that time in my life – but honestly, school has very little to do with any of them. 90% of the badness came from my mother (this was during the apex of her abuse) and all teen angst bullshit (sadly without a body count) I was going through: I broke up with my first boyfriend in grade 11 and it was devastating; any bullying I DID receive came from my home room teacher; I briefly got involved with a Bad Crowd, and I worked at McDonalds. School was where I went to get away from all of that: no more, no less.

Also, until very recently, I was convinced I didn’t actually go to high school at all and my entire life had been created in an autistic boy’s snow globe.

If I lived in the same city as my high school, I likely wouldn’t think twice about it. However, it’s in Victoria – so in addition to the cost of the weekend (there are three events priced per couple at $25, $20 and $100) I’d have to take the ferry over there and stay in my mom’s sauna in the dead of summer. It’s also over a long weekend, so the ferry will be insanely busy. All told, the weekend will cost me a few hundred dollars, and that’s money I could be saving for London.

Truthfully, I can come up with a thousand reasons to NOT go to the reunion (my overall feeling is “meh”, I wasn’t popular or loathed enough to make a romcom-style triumphant return, I don’t particularly have anything exciting to share, I don’t care about your eighteen children or who’s bald/fat/now identifying as a woman, anyone I would be excited to see either won’t be there and/or I’ve already been in contact with online elsewhere, I’m shy and would likely puss out at the last second anyway, Ed won’t want to go and I don’t want to go alone, it’s a trap). The reasons TO go are pretty small: there’s a few people I would like to see, maybe between now and August I will become wildly successful and/or actually graduate high school, there’s a slim chance I’ve repressed some awful high school drama that will come to the surface just in time to turn the trip into an epic tale of redemption and revenge – but is that enough to lay out the money and time? I am uncertain.

I’ve only been to one reunion before, and it wasn’t my own. I remember feeling really awkward around all these strangers, and I can’t help but feel it’ll be exactly the same at my own reunion. Yes, technically I know a lot of people .. but from an entire lifetime ago. In my final years of high school, I was already forging my identity elsewhere – my social circle mostly consisted of McDonald’s coworkers, and later, creepy perverts I met online. I had outgrown the high school scene long before my “graduation”, and revisiting it all doesn’t really move me one way or another. It makes me yawn, and my eyes water (although everything makes my eyes water; allergies are my FAVOURITE THING EVER).

Did you go to your reunion/would you go if it came up? Would you go at the $300 price tag I’m looking at? Tell me what to do, internet! I am undecided!

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5 thoughts on “victorian pie

  1. I didn’t go to my ten year reunion and I don’t plan on attending my 20 year reunion either. Maybe I’ll go to my 40 year reunion (if I’m still alive). My reason? Because, quite frankly, I don’t really care. The people I’m interested in staying in touch with, I already am in touch with and the few I’m not in touch with regularly are easy enough to contact through other people. As for you? A $300+ price tag doesn’t seem worth it to me. Save for London! For those people you may actually be interested in connecting with, check with the reunion organizers about contact info. You may be able to contact them and organize your own mini-reunion. I did this with a few long-lost friends for our ten year. We had drinks and dinner and talked about what was happening in and around our lives at the time; saving ourselves from a three to four hour conversation about high school with people we no longer had anything in common with (i.e. high school).

  2. I skipped my ten year reunion too, and I won’t go the the twenty year reunion either. I’ve kept in touch with the people that I wanted to, and for everything else there’s Facebook. My feelings are exactly like cwcheeks said above :)

  3. I went to my ten year. I don’t think I’ll repeat the process at my 20. I wasn’t terribly popular, but not omg do not talk to that girl she’s so creepy either. I just had low self esteem and a small close group of friends. Since only one of THEM came to the reunion as well, it was sort of a bust. My memory just isn’t good enough to reminisce that much.

    The biggest thing was I didn’t like the feeling that I was BACK in high school with all of those people with whom I was unpopular, and it felt super cliquey again. I started getting self concious and good god, the last thing I need is any of that low self esteem back. I’m fucking awesome, I have no need to doubt myself.

    It doesn’t help that the vast majority of the people I went to high school seem to … still be there. Sure, they’re married and have kids and 30lbs extra now, but they still live in Cloverdale or Langley, and they still have nothing in common with me. Through the power of facebook, I already know what most of them are doing, and the ones who are doing interesting things didn’t go to the reunion.

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