mmxii in review

I left this post rather late this year, but I haven’t had time to write it – I’ve been pleasantly busy and social instead. I’m officially on vacation now though, and instead of doing the dishes or braving the outside world for some last-minute necessities, I present to you:

2012: the Year that Was

January: Rang in the new year tripping balls; declared 2012 “Year of the Straight Edge” as a result. Recalled being molested by a 4-year-old. Stressed out about not having a job. Visited my mother in Victoria, realized we’re very alike in many ways. Decided not to settle for the first job offer that came along if it wasn’t perfect. Turned down an offer because I wasn’t professional enough. Put up an online portfolio for my tech writing. Had many Serious Discussions with Ed that resulted in my claiming the second room as my office, kicking him out of it. Got rejected. Begged America not to release the krakken.

February: Built a bookshelf; compared Ed’s books to mine. Dropped Lola for the first time ever due to my refusal to accept the laws of physics as actual laws. Foamed at the mouth when asked to do a stupid test online. Rehashed some really bad memories for science. Tried to kill us both via food poisoning. Measured my nipple span. Re-dislocated my shoulder while seeing horses.

March: Confessed that I am a terrible Asian. Realized the potential in my new window sills. Made some terrible puns; still regret nothing. Got a job. Settled into said job. Decided not to go to my high school reunion. Turned my back on chemical hair dye once and for all; began henna’ing with unusual results. Started to have some Grave Misgivings about my new job.

April: SEWED! Ambushed a small child for her cookies. Booked our trip to London! Sewed more! Had Anxiety. Quit my job. Went clubbing with hilarious results. Went to Ucluelet to see Josh and Shan get married! Started my dream job. Asked people to vote for me. Unveiled a flowchart. Played Crazy Mom Bingo. Had pain!

May: Went to the hospital for the aforementioned pain. lol sports! Crossed over to Android momentarily. Raged at scooter parking options. Asked people to stop voting for me. Bought a new (to us) car: a MINI! Diablo 3 launched hooray! Sold my 2012 PAX passes because my friends suck. Officially reviewed my Samsung Behemoth. Went screen printing! More Diablo! Bribed my coworkers into liking me with candy.

June: Drank wine that I actually enjoyed! Wholeheartedly gave in to my new-found debauchery by making Rummy Gummies at work. Got pulled aside for questioning at the border; was angry. Angered the religious right on Twitter; got caught in the crossfire. Showed off the versatility of the fancy blood dessert I was given. Stumbled across a haunted BC Ferry!

July: Read all three 50 Shades books in one weekend on a dare; broke my fucking brain. Fireworks! Birthday party for Heather, complete with Dalek cake! Was angry at the drug store. Got my iPad 3 engraved; sneakily getting around Apple’s censors. Started pimping out cats for adoption. Went to Victoria; fell in love with a goat.

August: Took a mini break from blogging. Watched the Mars Landing with the entire internet. Fell in love with Mohawk Guy with the entire internet. Took my iMac in to the Genius Bar for the first of many visits. Protested the whitewashing of Asians on our money. Was creepy. Made a skirt! Squeee’d at The World Ends With You landing on the App Store!

September: Met a werewolf on the bus. Reunited a lost camera with its owner through Internet Sleuthing. More skirts! Designed a thing, kind of! Got fed up with being bored; drove down to Seattle and back to see Astronautalis play. Waxed poetry about furries in the workplace. Celebrated our ten slash fifteen .. by GOING TO LONDON!

October: Visited Jen and Neil in Oxford! Got sick in London :( Was grateful for Thanksgiving! Missed London. Told some kids to get off my lawn. Had issues with cat food. Had issues with cat. Found out there’s a Rub n’ Tug in my building. Experienced some actual danger too close to home.

November: Contemplated the end. Was betrayed by my kidneys. Did not enjoy my kidney infection one bit. Tried out a Windows Surface tablet; kind of want one. Went to America and then a lemon party! Was a jerk :( Learned the Vespa shop in Vancouver is closing down. Took my iMac in for a replacement hard drive; got it back with broken Bluetooth. Was perversely fascinated by Nick’s Sea Monkeys. Grumpy; made a shirt.

December: Questioned my sexuality. Saw two Astronautalis shows in a row; had an Incident at the Urinal. Split my personality in two. Wasn’t a jerk, even though I wanted to be. Learned I’m really good at drinking! Made a list of things I wanted to do before the End of the World. Finally got my iMac back from the Apple Store. Didn’t murder anyone. Spend the Apocalypse happily falling off the straight edge wagon with my coworkers. Hooray! iMac is broken again! Got it back from the store, again – so far so good.

.. and that’s it, so far. It’s Christmas Eve, my mom is coming over in two days, and I have a very messy house to deal with. We’re having the traditional Christmas Eve Tacos tonight, then going over to Miranda and Reilly’s tomorrow for Friendmas Dinner. No Seattle for New Year’s Eve, but there are numerous parties going on here that will see some interesting pantless times. I am hopeful for inappropriate behaviour and additional Jagerbombs.

2012, you’ve been interesting. I am really looking forward to seeing what you’ve got in store for the remaining week of the year, and what comes next in 2013.

 

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