My mother called while I was out for a million-hour brunch with friends. I jokingly asked one of them to answer the call, and they all – a little too eagerly – leapt at the chance. I had to wrest my phone away from Gill so I could force the call to voicemail. It’s not that I don’t want my friends to talk to my mother; rather, I was saving myself from the inevitable 3-hour conversation later this evening trying to explain to her who those people were, why they were talking to her, and just how did they know about the bucket.

Being the dutiful daughter I am, I will return my mother’s phone call now that I’m home for the afternoon. Here are some things I predict my mother will say to me when we talk:

  • Do your best
  • Hard work never killed anyone
  • You never know
  • Just pray to daddy
  • Go slow, don’t be in a rush
  • Hard work doesn’t hurt
  • Pay your mortgage

.. you know, this would work better in another format:

the prize is a bag of half-empty miniature liquor bottles from 1973

Now I can’t WAIT for our phone call – I wonder what would happen if I yelled out BINGO! halfway through our conversation.

One thought on “predictions

  1. Pingback: mmxii in review « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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