everyday i’m settlin’

Inevitably, talk turned to my job hunt. I answered truthfully – I’m pursuing a number of different leads, some more promising/interesting than others. Mom was quick to jump in with some good advice for me: TAKE THE FIRST THING YOU FIND OR YOU’LL BE HOMELESS!

I’m beginning to think my melodramatic tendencies were a learned behaviour.

Some of the things I’m looking into are more appealing than others, but mom thinks I need to accept the very first thing that comes along or no one will offer me anything ever again. I can’t help but be slightly offended at this line of thinking, because my mother has NO IDEA what I do for a living – how would she know one way or another if I’m hireable or not? I know she simply worries about my mortgage – I think she cares about it more than she does me – but my reassurances that my mortgage is FINE and being paid and I’m in no danger of being thrown out onto the cold, cold streets anytime soon do little to shut her up. I gave up trying to explain things to her and let her ramble on about jobs being hard to find and I need to swallow my pride and take the first job that comes along no matter how terrible a fit because it’s all about sacrifice and bills and money and lottery tickets – but damnit, I didn’t start out listening to my mother, and I’m not about to start now.

Everyone tells me that something awesome will come along; something that will be a perfect fit for my wordsmithy ways and technical wizardry. I want to believe them – it keeps the blinding waves of panic at bay – but when I’m not getting responses from these dream jobs, I start to think mom is right and I SHOULD take the very first thing that comes my way for the sake of my jet set lifestyle and continual home ownership. I’m torn between logic and the dream on both sides of the equation, and it’s giving me a headache. At this stage in my career, I don’t think that my looking for an excellent employment fit is really all that unreasonable – I work so much better when I’m enjoying myself, and it’s not like I ask for very much (other than complete creative freedom when writing dry documentation material). When things were good at my last job, I genuinely had a blast: when writing my recap of 2011, I was amused to see how many posts I made about the work I was doing, and how much fun I had while doing it. Wanting that again is not at all too much to ask .. and in that line of thinking, I want to hold out for a company that will appreciate all the awesome things I can do instead of make exceptions for the weird girl in the corner.

.. on the other hand, the threat of government cheese is all too real and fills me with illogical panic every time I pay the bills.

I’m even torn about the timeline of it all. I’ve been without a job for barely over one month (and most of that month was swallowed up by the holiday season) – surely it’s too early to start freaking out and accepting jobs that fill me with dread and depressions. I did receive severance and qualify for EI if it comes to it – but it’s too soon to worry, right? I still have the luxury of time to wait for the right offer to make itself available to me .. but how long can I keep this consuming panic locked away in a dark place where no one can see it? I don’t even LIKE cheese.

My goal for the upcoming week is to get a technical writing portfolio online. One step at a time, and all that – although now I’m second guessing my ability to do even that. What if my work is horrible and everyone hates it and me? OH GOD

This is why I should never THINK. Thinking is scary!

thinking gives you wrinkles

11 thoughts on “everyday i’m settlin’

    • This comment worked better when there was just two sentences to this post. What I meant was your mom’s faith in you: INSPIRATIONAL.

      Anyway. To the rest of the post: the average spate of unemployment between jobs is 6 mos to 1 year, for professional skilled workers. So. Do not worry, not yet. You have enough severance and EI, if it comes to that, to see you through any kind of normal job-hunt. Add to that the fact that you’re awesome and have crazy skills, and you have nothing to worry about.

  1. I agree with those above who say you’ll find the right place and shouldn’t rush it or worry. I also empathize with your situation regarding your mom, even though mine is slightly different: Working 90 hours/week for weeks on end as a salaried employee? Getting your already low-ish pay cut by almost 25% because the partners spend all day at the bar instead of developing any business? The CEO pulling you off a project in spectacular, humiliating fashion and telling others in the company you are mediocre at best? All things that have happened to me over the past 15 years that my mom feels I have no right to complain about because hey, I’m just lucky to be employed at all!

    Stay strong. We know you’re awesome.

  2. As someone who’s spent more time than she’d like unemployed… I’d say, if you get a job offer and you’re going stir-crazy without one (if you’re like me) and the job isn’t evil and would look good/okay on your resume, then you should probably take it. You can always apply for your dream job as you’re working there.

    But anything that screams NOOOOOOOOOOOO to your subconscious or would look bad on your resume you should decline without guilt. I made the mistake of saying yes to a Junior Reports Developer position when I was an unemployed DBA, which 1. would look bad on my resume, as it was several steps down, and 2. the people there were sexist asshats. I think I lasted 4 days.

  3. Hold out for your dream job for sure. You’re way too creative to suffocate in a life sucking black hole of a job.

    It sounds if you want to make your mom happy with your life choices, you should just tell her you bought some lottery tickets!

  4. I’d listen to your mom. In this economy (assuming VC is anything like the US right now), you will do well to take anything that is available, and work on “dream jobs” later when the “dream” is actually back in play. I like Gillian’s advice: If it’s not evil, and you can do it, then take it and ruin til something better comes along. For contrast, consider LG’s comment. The people holding out for their “dream job” are currently making squalid “occupy” camps on various public properties, and basically making a nuisance of themselves in the name of “dream jobs”.

    A parable applies here, if I may make a slight modification: A real job in the hand is worth two dream jobs in the bush.

    Just sayin…

  5. BTW – I like your site. If you are a technical writer, it shows. I like the style and the readability is good. Well done, I say.

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