A bird pooped on me today. If I believe my mother’s folksy tales of wisdom, this means I am about to have some good luck. That’s all fine and good and all, but a BIRD POOPED ON ME AND IT IS GROSS! I saw the poopening happen, and thought it had missed me – it was REALLY close, but I was in the clear, right? Until I got to work and checked myself out in the mirror, and .. how did I splotch white paint on the front of my dress? Oh, wait. AUGH!

I scrubbed my dress off with soap and paper towels, and now I am wet all over (but poop free). I am also completely traumatized and grossed out. I want to go home and take seven baths. :(

Yesterday on Twitter I posted an opinion about the religious advertising on my bus (it’s weird). Immediately afterward, I was caught in the crossfire of both the International Association of Rabid Twitter Christians and the Organization of Atheists who Take Things Seriously. On one side, the IARTC were accusing me of hating Jesus, attempting to censor religion, and other things I couldn’t quite understand because their tweets were largely unreadable and/or this:

The far side of the battlefield was occupied by the OAWTTS, who quickly for some reason sprang to my defence. I don’t actually know any of these people, which is evident in that they came to my defence at all – I may be a Kinder, Gentler Kimli these days but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten my years of verbal sparring with the entire internet. Believe me, I can hold my own and you really don’t want to be on the receiving end of my vitriol.

Surrounded by Twitter idiots (or as they are now known, “Twidiots”), wars about religion waged around me and occupied much of my morning. I didn’t ask for any of it; I simply stated my opinion that ads for bible camp and holy ghost conventions on my bus were weird and a little unsettling. This isn’t me attempting to wave my “Christphobia” (that’s apparently a thing now) in anyone’s face; for the record I also thought the Atheism ads that surfaced on buses last year were weird too. If people had bothered to ask me WHY I didn’t like the ads instead of jumping to conclusions that I’m a baby-eating Satanist (which is only half true), they’d have learned that I think thusly: transit is a public service run by the government, and religious ads of ANY kind don’t belong.

But of course, then people would have to value the opinions of others as much as they claim to, as opposed to only valuing the opinions of those who feel the exact same way.

Leave me alone, Twidiots. I’ll be over here looking at boobs and video games, and you are NOT invited.