I will miss the following things about the UK:

• The price and availability of fresh food made with real ingredients
• The glorious things the soft water does to my hair
• The Tube!
• The history and culture and all the bricks everywhere!
• Marks & Spencer – please come back to Canada (and bring those Lemon Curd Cheesecakes with you OH MY GOD they’re good)

I will NOT miss the following things about the UK:

• The combination washer/dryer that takes 3 hours to do anything
• The taste of the water – my stomach clenches just thinking about it
• Why was it so hard to get ice cubes?
• “Large Diet Coke, please” *hands me a medium* :((((

I’ve been back in Vancouver for 3 days and I am already THOROUGHLY SICK of the following:

• Traffic noise
• Assholes honking their horns
• That stupid fucking crosswalk button outside my bedroom window that I am going to take a fucking baseball bat to
• Dirty looks from women on the bus and in downtown Vancouver – lady, those are my SHINS. What the hell kind of problem do you have with my bare legs that could warrant that kind of sneer? Did shins kill your father? This is just a friendly suggestion from me to you, but I bet if you pulled that stick out of your ass you might find the grave injustices of the world – like my knee-length skirt – a little easier to ignore. Just a thought.

I’m all covered up today and everything, too. Nasty lady.