My Tuesday has been a Benny Hill-style comedy of errors: traffic jams, misdirections, roads that don’t go where they’re supposed to, and a pharmacist trying to kill me. I knew I was in for a bad day by the time 9:30am rolled around, but I still held out hope that the day would simmer down now and I wouldn’t find myself being chased by Keystone Cops all around my living room as a cat ran away with my bra.

Of all the stupid things that have gone wrong today, I’m most annoyed at the pharmacist who wasn’t smarter than me. I am generally a self-sufficient person; able to make enormous leaps of logic in the blink of an eye – but sometimes it’s nice to encounter people whose career path is dedicated to ensuring I don’t die in a tragic yet hilarious accident. Pharmacology is a perfect example of an area in which I expect people to be smarter than me – they’re in charge of ALL THE DRUGS, and it is not at all reassuring to me if someone in charge of ALL THE DRUGS can’t spot a glaringly obvious lapse in medicinal logic.

My one dose of cure for my crazies is made up of two pills: 150mg of sanity, and 37.5mg of sanity. This dose of 187.5mg of sanity is a bit of a pain in the ass, but one that works for me because I just have to be a special fucking snowflake at all times. It also means that instead of one prescription for one pill I take once a day, I get two prescriptions for two pills. Fine, whatever. I get my medication in 90-day doses so I don’t have to really think about it, and when I get home I dump all the pills into one container for easy popping and then I ignore it all until I can see the bottom of the pill container and put plans in motion to get more drugs.

Last night I realized I only had enough sanity for three more days, so I dug up my prescription info and pressed some magic buttons to get more. I picked up my meds today after work, and that’s when everything WENT TO HELL ALL OVER: because all my meds were in one container, I forgot that there were actually two different kinds in there and that I had two prescriptions, not one. I only refilled one, picked it up, and went on my merry way – and this is why I’m so pissed off, because it says right on the fucking bottle TAKE 187.5MG OF SANITY DAILY YOU FUCKING CRAZY PERSON. Any pharmacist smarter than me – and that should be fucking ALL OF THEM – should have noticed they were only providing me with 150mg of sanity, looked into my drug history, and seen an additional refill for the missing 37.5mg. Then they should have ASKED ME ABOUT IT, because they are my pharmacist and making sure people don’t kill themselves by taking their meds wrong is kind of their job. If they had looked and put the clues together and mentioned it to me, I would have went OH SHIT YOU ARE RIGHT PLZ REFILL THE OTHER ONE TOO I WILL WAIT THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM DUMB and then I would have went home with ALL my meds and I wouldn’t be abusing the capslock on my laptop right now.

But NO.

That DID NOT HAPPEN.

So now I have to call in the refill and go to the store again to pick up the rest of my damn meds, which will cost me way too fucking much money.

.. which is also part of the problem, because my – Ed’s, actually – benefits are fucked up thanks to his new company, and the usual 90% coverage was denied because that isn’t our drug plan any more.

Oh, and let’s not mention that to you at all until you’re at the till and your purchase comes to $150 instead of the $60 you were expecting and there’s a huge line now and you really have to pee so you’re just going to have to pay for the fucking thing and hope to hell it can be sorted out later.

GODDAMNIT PHARMACIST STOP BEING SO FUCKING USELESS

I AM ANNOYED

LOOK AT ALL THESE CAPITAL LETTERS

Also, the novelty of driving to Langley each day has worn off and I will be really glad to a) go back to taking the bus downtown to work and b) not be in Langley anymore and c) not work 12-hour days as of Thursday.

I wrote an angry letter to the store, taking them to task for not being smarter than me. I wonder if I’ll hear back from them.