new weekly feature: save my marriage

Starting today, Delicious Juice Dot Com is delighted to present you, beloved reader, a chance to Make a Difference and save my marriage in one fell swoop.

Orphan Animal Pics is a local organization started by Lisa Brideau. The concept is as simple as it is brilliant: volunteer photographers take gorgeous shots of gorgeous animals desperately in need of foster homes or adoption. Each week I will profile several animals that I had to be physically restrained from going out and adopting this very second, in the hopes that someone – maybe YOU – has room enough in heart and home to give these beautiful creatures the love and comfort they so sorely need. As an added bonus, by adopting or fostering these animals, you will keep me from doing so and thereby save my marriage. I would adopt every animal everywhere if I could, but then Ed would divorce me. Most of the time, that would be a bad idea. According to the media, if Ed divorced me I would never find love again – so keep me from becoming a spinster cat lady by adopting these beauties:

Shyla and Jonathon:

photo by cindy hughes

When I saw Shyla’s picture, my jaw dropped open and I emailed Lisa to ask HOW this cat could possibly not have a home. Shyla is a bengal cat, which means you would have your very own LEOPARD in your household (which would automatically make you the coolest person in your neighbourhood).

Shyla and Jonathon are a bonded pair, and must be adopted together. They’re both very shy – Jonathon, who is apparently even prettier than his sister, was too shy to come out for pictures – and would do best in a household without dogs or children. They need a patient, loving home to shower them with affection and tell them daily how pretty they both are, because LOOK AT THAT PICTURE. I would love to give Shyla and Jonathon a home and own a pair of leopards, but Ed – now in his 15th year of cruelly denying me things to love – said no.

Both Shyla and Jonathon are currently at Katie’s Place Shelter in Maple Ridge. Please consider giving them a home!

Azlan (wardrobe and creepy Bible allusions not included):

photo by ben johnson

Azlan has had a very rough life and deserves to live in comfort; being catered to and showered with love. He was found living behind a seedy bar on Main Street – the kind your mother told you never to go near – and had to have an eye removed due to a nasty infection. He’s healed up nicely though, and doesn’t seem to miss depth perception – perhaps you could be the one to make him a little kitty eyepatch and he would be an AWESOME PIRATE CAT! Just think of the adventures you could have!

Azlan takes oral medication for his hyperthyroid, and is doing very well with it. He’s very affectionate, and loves people – he’s okay around calm dogs, but would probably be happier in a home without other cats.

He’s currently at HomeFinders in Vancouver and is hoping you can provide him with a permanent home. HomeFinders would also consider a long-term foster, at which point they would continue to support his veterinary needs .. but I KNOW someone out there has a soft spot for this big fluffy bar star lion. The one latte a week you’d have to give up would be in exchange for a lifetime of love, and even the most hardened among us has to admit that is a pretty damn good deal.

I desperately want to adopt all these cats, so please save my marriage by getting to them before I can. Also, check out Orphan Animal Pics for other gorgeous creatures in need of homes that aren’t mine – and if you’re a photographer wanting to hang out with animals for a few hours, please contact Lisa directly! She also guest-posted over at the Lotus Events blog, showing off even more lovely kitties – take a look.


5 thoughts on “new weekly feature: save my marriage

  1. Azlan will be in his new foster home as of September 1st aka MY PLACE! I met him a couple of weeks ago and it was instant love on both sides.

  2. I was living with my husband for 5 years and everything was moving so fine. until one morning a call came in and when i picked the call, a ladies spoke to me saying he wants to speak with my husband and when i asked who she is, she said that she is a girlfriend to my husband and she asked me too who i was, for me not to curse any dispute, i lied to her, so when my husband came back i asked him he lied to me, that night i was so down, i broke in tears and left the house for finding out that my husband is cheating on me, but i loved him so much, i thought of what to do to make him love me passionately, so a friend gave me clue on what to do that i should contact spell caster, So i went into search in the Internet so fortunately i found good testimonies on how this prophet harry has helped a lot of people in my condition, so i contacted Some Guy and he worked a spell on me and my husband, getting back my husband was the most important thing i was after, this spell worked like nothing I had ever seen in my life .after 3 days of the spell was casted my husband came begging me to come back home, he promised to be faithful to me and promised never to cheat on me again, I’m happy now and free. my problems are solved
    “I have never experienced anything like this. I never expected such a reaction. Jenny G

  3. Pingback: mmxii in review « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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