a bitch ain’t one

This time last year, I was in London for the first time with Heather and Renee.

This time two weeks ago, I had been in London for over a week, and was in Oxford for the day hanging out with Jen and Isaac and Neil.

Can I please be back in London?

I got 99 problems, and here are two:

Cheddar is the world’s pickiest, stupidest cat. In all the 12+ years we’ve had her, we’ve found exactly two kinds of food she’ll acquiesce to eat: an old brand of Wellness dry food which, when discontinued, caused us untold amounts of panic when she refused to eat and started to lose weight at an alarming rate – and for the last 6 or so years, the “Mature” formula of Medi-Cal food originally prescribed to Sasha.

Guess what has now been discontinued?

Guess who is refusing to eat?

Goddamnit. We’ve spent close to $100 on different kinds of food in the hopes she’ll take to one of them, but so far nothing. She likes the plastic bags more than the food. We know from previous experience that “she’ll eat when she gets hungry enough” simply isn’t true when it comes to Cheddar, so we need to find an acceptable food for her asafp – she’s so stupidly picky she won’t even touch wet food, which the other two cats think is the greatest stuff in the whole world. Plus, Cheddar is a little old lady now – she wouldn’t be able to bounce back from her hunger strike as easily as she did 6 years ago. This sucks, I am stressed out, and it’s a damn good thing she’s cute.

The other marble up my ass is car shaped: the Mini is having Mysterious Issues. I drove to work today because my bus tickets disappeared into Ed’s pockets and I had no change, but the car is somewhat possessed: the turn signals wouldn’t turn off, then wouldn’t work at all. The windows won’t close, and the rear lights don’t turn off. My key won’t lock or unlock the doors, and I’m pretty sure the car is laughing at me when I get in. I made it as far as the parkade downtown when I realized I couldn’t shut the windows or lock the door, and the lights stayed on. Given our bizarre battery issues a week ago, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the car in the lot all day with the lights on (let alone completely unlocked), so Ed made some fast phone calls and I took the Mini into the service center for an emergency exorcism. We did purchase the extended warranty when we got the car, but I don’t know that it actually covers a ghost in the machine so we’re stuck waiting around for the diagnosis because I clearly don’t have enough to worry about.

Definitely missing London today.

6 thoughts on “a bitch ain’t one

  1. Places like Bosley’s and VanPet usually take food back on returns if the cat won’t eat it or has an adverse reaction. Might be worth looking into?

    • Unfortunately, the food Cheddar used to eat was special vet food and they don’t have the same policy :( We’re still trying the pet store food on the other two cats (they used to eat vet food too, but aren’t quite as picky as Cheddar) and I’m arranging to get samples from another vet + everyone I know so hopefully she’ll eat again soon!

      • If it was Medi-Cal/Royal Canin or Hill’s I don’t see why the clinic won’t take it back. Vet clinics get reimbursed for returned food by the companies. If it was PVD or another brand then I can see them not accepting a return.

  2. Frodo lost his appetite after some significant surgery and, after many culinary misadventures, decided he would eat Weruva ‘Mediterranean Harvest’. Evidently Weruva is ‘human grade’, but so are Cheetos, so I don’t know if that label means much. Our Vet was disappointed Frodo wouldn’t eat prescription food, but was happy that we found something Frodo enjoyed.

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