not like the others

We’re so close to being done I can almost taste the floor! The Lady Cave needs a couple pictures hung and more secret unicorns, and it’s ready for the Office Warming Party; the living room needs to be emptied of all donative goods (and someone to take the damn excess furniture) and we’re FINISHED. For now. We’re already talking paint and accent colours, which is terribly exciting – we always have Grand Plans for paint but never seem to actually get it done, and then there’s just too much stuff in the way. Almost every trace of my existence is gone from the living room, which means it’ll be so much easier to paint – especially when you consider my former corner will soon be utterly naked and ripe for dazzling colours.

The shelf I built on Monday is now in place, and we loaded it up with our books. I purged several boxes worth of literary goodness, yet my collection still took up more than four of the 5 shelves on the new enormous unit (not to mention the “special” books that hold a place of honour on in my Lady Cave). The bookcase itself is very nice, but it looks very haphazard in the bedroom because none of my books are the same size. Ed’s books are all trade paperbacks and graphic novels, and neatly stack in two rows along the top shelf. Me, not so much:


If I don’t get a job soon, I’m going to end up sitting in front of the shelf and attempting to arrange all my books by height. I’m a creature of organized chaos, and this makes me twitch if I stare at it too long – there must be order! Everything must line up!

While I was carting armful after armful of books from one room to another, I was struck by the glaring difference in our reading tastes. For example, Ed’s books have titles like The Fallen Fortress and Council of Blades and Song of the Saurials – basically, his entire shelf is a tribute to Forgotten Realms, D&D and emo dark elves with pocket cats and daddy issues.

On the other hand, my books have titles like Cunt, The Vulgar Tongue, The Complete Manual of Things that Will Kill You, and Anne of Green Gables. There’s also half a shelf dedicated to lesbian erotica, a whole series on word origins and grammar, and an equal measure of books on survival (zombie apocalypse, lost in the woods, dragon attack) and ways I could die in the next fifteen seconds. As much as Ed is all about high fantasy and leather jerkins, I am about sex, words, and my own mortality – we make a good pair.

Once the 2012 House Reshuffling is done, I plan to take up knitting again and grow my nails out so I can make them plaid. And hopefully get a job. I would really enjoy  a job.

these are my "special" books (they're in a separate room because Ed was tired of my trying to make him gay by osmosis - apparently, sleeping on top of the Big Penis Book was uncomfortable)



2 thoughts on “not like the others

  1. Dude, I’m just catching up on blorgz from the weekend and… bahahaha! “emo dark elves with pocket cats and daddy issues”. Oh my. So succinct. So absolutely on the money. Poor, poor Drizzt. Ha!

  2. Pingback: mmxii in review « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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