sandwich phobia

Strange things you may not know about me: I hate sandwiches.

I’m fully aware of how odd it is to dislike an entire industry of food made up of other foods that I generally have no problem with, but there you go. I do not like sandwiches. Occasionally when we are out, people will suggest we get something to eat and inevitably offer up Some Sandwich Joint as a possible snackery – at which point I have to flail about helplessly and attempt to explain why this would be a terrible, life-altering, devastating decision.

I hate sandwiches so much I have cried over them. Once upon a time I was planning our wedding, and my mother in law insisted we should offer up sandwiches at our reception. Given my utter loathing of things between bread, I freaked out and fought tooth and nail against Operation: Sandwich. In the end I won (and the food we ended up serving was beyond delicious and very reasonable), but I am sure Ed’s family had some pretty grave second thoughts about his upcoming nuptials to an obviously unbalanced round girl who threw a tantrum at the mere suggestion of roast beef and tuna salad.

I can’t even give you adequate reasoning behind this quirk of mine – it just is. I am Kimli. Please do not offer me a sandwich.

Naturally, this severely limits my lunch options and usually leaves me hungry after catered corporate events. My life would be a great deal easier if I could just come to terms with the thought of meat, cheese, vegetables and spread between two slices of bread or a bun or even a hogie, but I cannot. It is not to be. I hate sandwiches, you see.

In fact, you could say that I have a sandwich phobia.

That is probably not normal.

Good thing I’ve made my peace with that.

A meme I stole from Natalie under the cut!

What level do you play in Guitar Hero/Rock Band?
I play guitar/bass on medium, and sing on hard.

Are you in a relationship?
Several! Wait, no, just one.

Are you wearing jeans right now?
It is a cold day in hell when I am NOT wearing jeans. Casual work environment, I love you to pieces!

Where is your Dad?
Part of him is in a marble toaster in a wall; part of him is in Thetis Lake Park, and part of him is somewhere in Montreal.

How do you feel about Living Dead Girl?
I like pudding.

Do you think too much or too little?
I think way, way too much about things that are completely not important at all.

Do you smile a lot?
Yes, actually – when I’m not actively smiling, I apparently look like I’m about to kill someone so I make the effort.

What is the price of gas where you live?
120.1 this morning – my last tank was 1.31 a litre, and cost me $3.59

What was the last compliment you received, and when?
I stumbled upon my previous entry being discussed in a forum where several people said some very flattering things about it. It made me go “heeeeee” in that way I have.

Have you ever ridden in a plane?
Yes, and I’ve used fire, too.

Do you prefer call or text?
Text. I hate the phone.

Do you have any siblings?
A half brother and a half sister that I am more or less estranged from

How many people do you trust 100%?
Two or three

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
Winners! It has sequins!

What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
My second viewing of Transformers last summer

Can you live without the computer?
No. Don’t make me try. I will get violent.

When was the last time you got flowers?
2006 sometime

Do you wish at 11:11?
No, but I do stop and go “HEEEEEE PALINDROME!”

Do you have any piercings?
Just my ears these days. I used to have a pierced nose, tongue and labret.

What’s your middle name?
I don’t have one, but as far as the internet is concerned, it’s Lulubelle

How big is your bed?
Queen, and too tall

Ever get so drunk you couldn’t remember the entire night?
Nope – not drinking goes a long way for remembering

Can you play any instruments?
I used to play the clarinet, bass clarinet, tenor sax and auxiliary percussion

Favourite flower?
I love me some dahlias

Have you ever loved someone?
Yes

Do you have a tattoo?
Ten of them

Are you hiding something from someone?
You’ll never find me treasure, ye scurvy dogs!

3 Things you can’t live without?
Companionship, humour, adventures

What was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning?
Holy shit do I ever need a haircut

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
I have short hair but I miss my uncontrollable long hair

Have you memorized your social security insurance number?
Yep

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yep

How many texts did you receive today?
None yet

Do you trust people easily?
Not at all

Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years?
Yes

Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
No

Where were you at 9pm last Friday night?
At home in bed – Thursday and Saturday nights were much, much more exciting.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
I made a sign for my inbox that says “The Inbox of Despair and Rainbows”, complete with pictures.

Is your family just a bundle of fun?
My unofficial family is a riot. My real family makes my head hurt.

Do you laugh at all the wrong times?
It is an enormous problem for me.

When did you last cry your eyes out?
January

Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
I have seen ALL my friends naked

Are you obsessed with someone?
Obsessing is a waste of time

What is the best thing about your job?
The lack of dress code; their acceptance of my many, many quirks

Do you like more than one person right now?
I like 17 people.

Name something that you would love to eat right now.
A jumbo donair from Queen Donair in Edmonton – plain; sauce on the side.

Did you get any compliments today?
Not yet *stare*

Who was the last person to call you?
Reilly! Oh, and some guy in Montreal I guess.

If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life,what would it be?
23C

Do you steal people’s boyfriends or girlfriends?
I’m stealing your boyfriends and girlfriends right now.

Are you happy?
Generally, yes

Who was the last person you texted?
Miranda

Who was the last person you IMed?
Miranda

Are you moody?
Yes, but I’m working on it

Last person you hung out with?
Shan

Have you ever tried to get back with an ex?
That would be a bad idea

Have you ever toilet papered someone’s house?
And waste toilet paper? I don’t think so.

Have you ever gone camping?
Last October we went on an impromptu camping trip and it was awesome

Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Not yet

Have you ever had a stalker?
Yes

Who was the last person to make you mad?
The Met

Are you thirsty?
Yes

Are you listening to music? What are you listening to?
Yes – Still Alive from Portal

What do you do before bed?
Play something on my DS, read some books, medicate myself

Have you ever lied to your parents?
I am lying to them right now!

Have you ever worn your best friend’s clothes?
Many times

Have you ever thrown up from working out?
No

Who do you miss?
My dad, other assorted people

Where are your siblings right now?
Calgary and Montreal

Last person you kissed other than family?
Ed, I think

Name five things you did today:
Scooted to work, infiltrated a forum, demanded my underlings prove their knowledge to me, threw out the green ones, kickstarted Oscar

Last person who you called?
According to my phone, Ed

Future kid’s name?
Team No Babies for the win!

What are you doing tomorrow?
The same thing I do every day – try to take over the world

Are you on a laptop or a desktop?
Desktop

What is your mood?
Tired, giddy, conflicted

Is anyone jealous of you?
EVERYONE

Where were you 2 hours ago?
Scooting through the Causeway, freezing my ass off

What were you doing last night?
Bathed, read, fell asleep with the light on and woke up again when sparks started flying out from my lamp

What does your hair look like right now?
Flat and poofy at the same time

Has anyone ever used you?
I pay them to do it

What have you eaten today?
A McDonald’s breakfast burrito with extra salsa

Is your hair naturally curly, or straight?
Straight

Who were you last in a car with?
Shan

What are you looking forward to?
Spring, the weekend, road trips

What do you think about being cheated on?
I think it would not be any fun

Any of your friends getting married?
Jen and Neil are getting married this weekend!

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Absolutely.

12 thoughts on “sandwich phobia

  1. my friend has a fear of making sandwhiches also.
    she is terrifyed of the idea of placing things inside two slices of bread and trapping them.
    i have looked this up on google and i cannot find the correct name for this phobia.
    if there can be a name for the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth then surely there has got to be one for the fear of sandwhiches?
    if there is let me know. =)

  2. I HATE sandwhiches aswell-it’s so irrational but i just hate them. I’ve cried over eating them and i gag when i smell or see them-it’s just soo weird!!

  3. i have a phobia of square sandwiches, i can eat then if their not squares otherwise i panic. I can not find the phobia name its really hard to find or its just not created yet…

  4. I have a sandwhich hatred too…I gag at the smell of lunchmeat, and I hate the sound and smell of people eating sandwhiches….but it’s only homemade sandwiches, I don’t mind subway…even though I’ll only get one thing on the menu and it doesn’t taste sandwichey.

  5. Hmm, mostly women, am I right? Almost all the women I’ve ever known dislike sandwiches or are extremely picky about them. I wonder why that is. It’s weird to meet a guy who doesn’t like sandwiches. I don’t think I ever have. I love sandwiches and will eat them at every meal if possible. I

  6. Omg are you ME ?? I HATE sandwiches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL MY LIFE!!!!!! i have cried over them, agonized, opened doors with my feet to avoid touching places someone who just touched a sandwich touched, I hate seeing them, smelling them.. I also hate their constituent parts – nasty lunchmeats, disgusting condiments, and foul breads, but sandwiches realllly put me over the edge.

    The worst sandwich moment of my life was when my “friends” pretended to throw sandwich crumbs at me and in reality they threw nothing. I was reduced to a cornered, quivering, red-faced mess in sheer terror and near tears.

    I hate sandwiches and nobody understands! Except you, I guess.

  7. Oh my gosh! I am relieved that there are other people in this world who HATE SANDWICHES,THE LUNCHMEAT AND THE CONDIMENTS!!! I HATE THE SMELL, TOO!!! I must disinfect everything where one is prepared….anything that has been touched by a person who has eaten one. I do not know the name of this phobia, but it is very real to me. The smell of bread makes me gag….when I was a kid, my sister used to chase me around with a slice of white bread! I ran like my hair was on fire….the sad thing is, I would do the same thing now at the age of 48!

  8. There are also a number of additions that can go into a grilled cheese sandwich, like ham, tomato, herbs and spices, or sauces like ketchup or mustard. Some of these will go between the slices of bread before the grilling takes place, and some are sprinkled on the top or used as a dip. Many Canadians enjoy dipping their sandwiches in ketchup or applesauce, while people in the United States tend to prefer their sandwiches with tomato soup or French fries on the side.’ My favorite blog site.

  9. Pingback: A Food Phobia Scares Some People Away from Sandwiches – Dot Network

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