how not to buy drugs

At a crowded party full of classier people than I, most of whom I am meeting for the first time:

Kimli: HELLO, “DEALER”! HERE IS SOME MONEY FOR DRUGS!
Dealer: THANKS FOR THE DRUG MONEY, KIMLI! HERE ARE YOUR DRUGS!

Discretion is not my middle name. I mean, I know I don’t HAVE a middle name but if I did, it would not be discretion.

I am amused that I am still somewhat squeamish to announce my illicit drug use. I’ve only mentioned weed once or twice, and each time it’s been in a detached sort of way. Well, it’s time I threw off the shackles of self-oppression and yell out to the heavens: I AM A TOTAL POTHEAD!

No, seriously. Since my introduction to insidious gateway drug at the tender age of 18, I must have smoked the marijuanas, like, half a dozen times. Maybe even ten times. In the last five years alone, I’ve probably been “high” once. I am crazed with the reefer madness! My depravity knows no bounds!

And strangely, since moving to BC, I’ve never had a more difficult time coming by a supplier. This is because my main connection is Ed – when I descend into madness and need my fix, I usually say “hey Ed, get me some pot” and then he says “okay” and eventually I get some pot. However, I’ve been completely “jonesing” for a “fat blunt” for three years now, and Ed is not coming through for me. I finally gave up on him and asked someone else, and not five hours after my inquiry, the above exchange loudly took place. Take that, society! I am thumbing my nose at you!

I haven’t actually done anything with it yet – it’s safely enclosed in my Hello Kitty toothpick tin – but all the same, Josh is trying to plan an intervention. Clearly, I am out of control.

All dangerous drug use aside, I had a truly excellent weekend. On Saturday, Josh Reilly Miranda and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and went on an epic scoot through South Vancouver and Richmond. We rode and explored for about 7 hours before returning to Gastown for food and Tanya’s housewarming party. It was good fun, but the many hours of fresh air had tired us out and we all turned in fairly early. It was a glorious day though, and the only things that could have made it better were in Whistler (Ed) and Calgary (Shan) doing their own things.

Sunday was low key but still fun. Shopping, scooter maintenance, ice cream that tasted like sushi, and sleep. Now it is Monday, and I am not ready for my week to begin but I will muddle through because I know there are many more adventures to come. Plus, I have drugs. Hooray!

I took a million photos on Saturday and uploaded only some of them – I haven’t gone through and named them all, but I’m sure you can live without my witty descriptive text.

DRUGS!

7 thoughts on “how not to buy drugs

  1. I think that maybe… just maybe… the pugs/drugs thing has created a mental schism for you.
    I know how that works… I do that a lot. Drugs/pugs and then cats/hats and then on and on and on…. to world conquerage!

  2. I have always felt that masking tape was a gateway drug.

    And now dogs? Or is it that cats are a gateway drug to dogs? Mmmm… hot dogs …

    Don’t forget to bring a towel.

  3. Pingback: bad at drugs « delicious juice dot com – a zesty vancouver blog

  4. Pingback: in my closet « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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