Today I thought I’d try being like everyone else. I’ve been noticing that other people do things a lot differently than I do, and for the sake of Science, I thought I’d try it out and see if it was truly all that.
It is not.
Other people dress nicely and do not wear plaid shoes to work. I am wearing my good jeans, a dainty blouse (there you go, Darren) with a matching sweater, and fancy shoes. I am terribly uncomfortable, albeit much more put together than usual. I gave some good serious thought to fully committing myself to the lie and wearing a suit or a skirt, but that would severely hamper my ability to scoot to work (another thing that other people do not do) so I had to compromise.
Other people do not wear bright green eye shadow. This is their loss; I am wearing it anyway.
Other people do not get into work and make a desperate lunge at the pop machine so they can enjoy a frosty mug of delicious Diet Coke before 9am. I went to Starbucks to try and be like other people, and now I have a very respectable chai and a scone. Total cost: $6.25. My usual breakfast of Diet Coke and a different type of scone: $2.60. Other people are surely poorer than I.
At least they would be, if I didn’t keep importing expensive (but fun) video games.
Still, that being said, these tiny scones are really damn tasty. If I wasn’t too lazy to walk across the street in the morning, I would be all up in this tiny scone business every day. They’re even cheaper than my usual blueberry scone, although I may regret this sugar rush in the next few minutes.
Yesterday was a very expensive day for me – I simultaneously ran out of things that keep me sane, baby-free, supple, clean, pleasantly scented, plaque-free, moist, and coiffed. I’m now all stocked up, but it was an exhausting afternoon of car exhaust and personal questions.
I am absolutely spacing out.