fear

I’ve done a lot of interesting stuff in my time on this planet. I’ve addressed crowds of thousands at the biggest tech shows in the world. I’ve stood up in front of hundreds with my assets trussed up and on display. I’ve shared deep personal secrets to the internet at large; voluntarily given my DNA to the government just to see what would happen. I’ve sat on panels and given unprepared speeches from the heart; turned a love of video games into travel and adventure. I’ve done some things, alright. Things that would make other people faint or cringe or outright refuse. I may be an unabashed coward with a deathly fear of people, but I have a surprisingly wide streak of bravery when it comes to doing things that I should logically dread.

Knowing that I, for all my anxious hyperventilation and overactive imagination, can really do some amazing things if I ignore my fear just makes it all that much worse to realize that I am nervous – no, I am TERRIFIED – because my mother will be here before sunset.

I am quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots at the thought of having to entertain my mother for 48 hours.

I changed outfits three times this morning.

I scrubbed the fuse cover on my oven last night.

I HID (well, obscured) MY GAY PORN.

This weekend will either be hilarious or fatal.

this was taken at our wedding. ed is telling me to behave myself, and i am watching my mother tell a crowd of strangers inappropriate things.

this was taken at our wedding. ed is telling me to behave myself, and i am watching my mother tell a crowd of strangers inappropriate things.

5 thoughts on “fear

  1. Great picture. I understand the feeling of having your Mom come to visit. I always worried about my place being clean enough and what ever meal I cooked measuring up cause my Mom is a great cook and can be somewhat critical. My Mom is half Chinese, very old fashioned and is “more Chinese” then most people that are full Chinese if you know what I mean. She is your typical “Asian matriarch”. I hope the visit with your Mom goes well.

  2. Aww, you look so beautiful… if not a little, um… murderous, perhaps?! LOL.

    Best of luck; be strong and remember, there’s always things like Ativan to help you through… just kidding; try some valerian, it’s natural Valium.:)

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