live blogging the fancy

1820: I wish I could say that this is the first fancy event I’ve been to in which my first order of business was to find a power outlet, but I’d be lying through my charmingly crooked teeth. I don’t know a single person here – not that I’ve really looked; I made a beeline for the corner as soon as I got here – but I’ve made good on my claim of sitting in the corner. I’ve found an excellent corner, claims have been staked, and now I’m waiting for my more outgoing halves to find me.

I still haven’t found a power outlet. This could be a problem later.

1830: Okay, I see 3 faces I recognize. Now we’re getting social! Also props to Boris for the crazy anime hair – it’s making me all swoony, but that could also be the NyQuil.

1848: My name tag refuses to stay put. Does anyone have a stapler?

Miranda and Reilly have arrived, with Tanya in tow. I also found Chris and Monica, so I am surrounded by people far more social than I am – I hope I’m not coming across as rude, but I really don’t feel so hot. If I stay in the corner and look like I’m concentrating, please know that I am concentrating on not passing out as opposed to ignoring the festivities around me. I wish I was feeling better – and that it didn’t hurt so much to talk – but maybe this is a good time to practice communication by flash card.

Speaking of flash, I have the “smile AFTER the flash goes off” thing down solid. I’m going to ruin a lot of photos tonight with the whole “deer in headlights” thing I have going on.

Prepared Nerd to the rescue! Reilly is without SD cards, so I offered up one of my own. I’m packing a great deal of heat tonight it would seem; I have 46GB spread across 5 cards plus another 18GB in jump drives in my pocket. I should probably be less proud of that than I am, but damnit – you just never know when you’re going to need to hack into a mainframe and download a top secret government database to prove your innocence of the murder you were framed for.

1906: I just got accused of being anti-social :( I’m having a hard time hearing though, and talking is a royal pain in the throat. Besides, I’m live blogging a social media event – what’s more social media than sharing my thoughts with the internet at large instead of talking to people around me?

1913: Everyone is very fancy this evening. I’ve seen at least one feather boa, some sort of fur (hopefully fake) stole, and many a sequin or shiny things. It looks like some announcements will be happening soon, so sit tight for additional updates.

Monica just went all school teacher on some people who are still talking – she’s cute but scary!

Ooh, apparently there is discounted wine tonight. There are going to be some liquoured nerds up in here very quickly – I fear for people wearing white for some reason.

It looks like dinner is moments away from being served, which is awesome – I am hungry. I forget what I ordered, so it will be a surprise.

There are an awful lot of cute boys here. I definitely need to get out more.

1936: I am beyond glad that in MY world, it will never ever be inappropriate to giggle at being asked “And what is your choice of meat this evening?”

Snerk. Meat! Like a PENIS! It’s funny because I’m 12.

Social Media In My Pants: “Who’s that guy sitting over there? He’s cute!” “I twittered the guy next to him to ask, but I don’t think either of them are online right now” “pfft. He just went from an 8 to a TWO.”

1944: And now for a different flavour of nerd: the bread looks like Slime! :D

2020: Well fuck – I posted all about boobies, and Reilly’s Macbook ate the update. My own battery is all but dead, and unless I find an outlet I’m going to have to go silent for the rest of the evening. It sort of fits the whole theme of “no talking” I have going on – my voice is completely shot so I’m resorting to gesturing madly and texting people to get their attention. It sucks, because I don’t text nearly as fast as I can talk when I’m in the zone – I’m feeling very slow right now, in more ways than one.

About the boobs: there’s a lot of boob-grabbing going on at this table. People are grabbing their own boobs, and Reilly grabbed Miranda’s (supposedly to look for her cell phone, but we all know better). No one is grabbing at me, but I’m just sitting here being all cleavagey. At some point I AM going to have to cover up and deliver some content, but in the meantime .. well, fancy times is boobie times.

2045: I’m starting to get a little fixated on the lack of power outlets. What kind of fancy supper club doesn’t have power outlets?! Reilly has kindly lent me his Mac and he was smart enough to bring an extra battery with him, but my own laptop is dead and that makes me sad. I find myself wandering around the venue – which is awesome, for those of you not here – gazing at the floor not in my usual “oh god I’m afraid of people must not make eye contact” dance but rather keeping an eye out for the telltale sign of POWER. Need power. Going slightly stir crazy without it. Everyone else is having an excellent time though, which is good – even though the  invite SAID to bring laptops, it looks like Reilly and I were the only ones who didn’t catch the whole “we were kidding” vibe.

I can’t talk above a whisper. Tomorrow I am planning on bringing a white board and markers so I can communicate beyond nodding my head and tilting questioningly.

2121: Dinner was delicious – I had the Arctic Char which came with shrimp and some sort of sauce. There’s a lively debate about dessert going on, but no one is quite sure what the plan is. We’re all being given new forks as I type, so I assume some sort of fork-worthy item is yet to come. In fact, I see men with plates. Miranda is counting on Tiramisu – as for me, I think it’s cream puffs. There is nothing that leads me to think it might be cream puffs, but I’m just .. feeling the puffs.

Reilly had the lamb, which came on a giant bone.

I think I may have to bail before the dancing starts. I had planned to leave after dinner, but then they gave me another fork and it would be frankly rude not to use it. I wish I could stay to watch people dance, but I’m feeling pretty wretched. If I want to be alive for tomorrow’s conference, it would be in my best interest to get home soon – as it is, I’m thinking about getting as much rest as I can tonight and heading to UBC whenever I wake up (as opposed to being on campus at 8:30am). I know I’ll miss out on some of the early sessions, but I can’t risk getting any sicker than I already am.

Did I mention Reilly’s giant bone? I did? Good.

2138: I was right! I have no idea what the dessert was (other than tasty), but there was some definite puffery going on! I sort of win at Guess the Dessert! Go Team Kimli!

The mysterious curtain around the stage has been drawn, and there’s a live band setting up. I am super bummed that I’m going to miss this! Damn you, ebola! I hope a lot of pictures are taken so I can live vicariously through the internet (like usual).

I know some people opted to skip the dinner party this year because it was sponsored in part by the BC Liberal Party, but those that chose to boycott tonight’s fun really missed out. I don’t believe the sponsor has been mentioned once (although I wasn’t really paying attention to the announcement; at any rate we certainly weren’t subjected to an hour-long speech about politics), and it’s just a great big fun time. I honestly don’t care one way or another who sponsored the event – it all boils down to my getting an excellent dinner in a fancy venue for cheap, and I can live with that. Not everything has to be a fight – sometimes a party is just a party.

There’s singing! Someone is singing! How awesome! Viva Las Vegas indeed – he’s getting the crowd involved. I am very glad I’m sitting in a dark corner, but this is pretty great.

4 thoughts on “live blogging the fancy

  1. hehe… sitting right next to you, I also appreciated your point of view. I sure hope I didn’t come across like I was anything but kidding about your ‘drawing back and typing’ — Please say it wasn’t me accusing you of being anti-social? At least you came out!

  2. I would’ve come, but it would’ve been a toss-up between having sex, and hanging out with you, and there’s nothing stopping me from seeing you any day of the month.

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