When Procter & Gamble bought Clairol in 2001, one of the first things that went away was the signature “gives you orgasms!” marketing campaign of the Herbal Essence shampoo line. On one hand, I was glad – it was frankly annoying to hear fake orgasms every commercial break during prime time. The flip side, however, is that I suddenly find myself in possession of 26 bottles of Herbal Essence shampoo – and NOW I miss all those orgasms.
I will have the cleanest hair EVER, even if I have to make my own orgasms.
I am not greedy, though. I will share my orgasms. If you would like to try some fancy new Herbal Essence shampoo and you are in Canada, let me know – I will send you a coupon for a free bottle. If I had less class I would stage some sort of orgasm-related contest, but .. frankly, I just do not want to go there.
I know, write me a haiku. If you want free shampoo, write me a haiku about orgasms. First 14 entries can email me their address, and I will pop a coupon in the mail for you.
And .. go.
delicious juice dot com 
Here’s my haiku about orgasm. Because it’s so fabulous, copyright applies LOL:
A laughing pelvis
Holds the secrets to a woman’s
Inner frame of mind
Gorgeous hair isn’t
reason to be obscene – please
think of the children!
(I mean, I disagree, but anyway)
Hey, who doesn’t need a few hairgasms.
Can you keep a bottle for me? Perhaps I can stop by and you can give me a demonstration.
26 Bottles?
Will you ever catch your breath?
Kimli is all spent.
Alas, I live in the USA…but I AM Canadian…LOL
It’s the perfect prank:
Jizz into someone’s shampoo.
Shiny, spunky hair.
My small death remains,
On damp honeymoon linens,
Embers replace flame.
deep, Carl.. deep.
that’s what she said!! *ba-dum, psshh!*
Heh,
40$ WTI + working in the oilpatch = oh so bored.
And I’ve been listening to a lot of Nick Cave recently.
Ed totally pwned the haiku.