My super fancy robot license came today, and it is pretty hilarious:
enhanced!
Bland, but hilarious. I hate the black n’ white photo – if this was in colour, you would see my sparkly green eye shadow and instinctively know how fabulous I am. I got away with the flower in my hair, so score one for me – but they cut off my neck, so you don’t see the Kimli necklace. Curses!
The picture is bad enough, but check out my enhanced chin – the necklace didn’t show up, but the reflection did and it gave me a double chin. BOO! I think I look simultaneously asleep and skeptical – there’s an eyebrow threatening to raise in there somewhere. They also made me take off my glasses, even though I almost always wear them. I look weird. It’s not the worst picture, but .. it’ll do. After all, it’s enhanced.
One of the problems with the new license is the fancy chip – apparently, it’s not protected meaning that anyone with fancy chip technology will be able to read it and find out my name and government issued ID number. So, to combat the extreme security risk, they included a special envelope designed to block fancy chip readers:
don't read my thoughts
It’s a friggin’ tin foil hat for my license.
Awesome.
We’re going to the US tomorrow for tacos, but I can’t use the license yet – it takes 72 hours after activation before the US government can read my criminal records and decide whether I’m worthy of spending money in their country. I’ll have to bring my passport, but after this weekend, I should be good.
Sorry about the incredibly late update – I went home early from work today because I felt like crap. I’m still feeling a little strange – my mouth is doing that weird watery thing that happens right before you barf – but I think I’ll live. After all, there are tacos to look forward to.
delicious juice dot com 
I like late updates because in my daily schedule they are nicely timed updates.
Are you supposed to keep the ID in the tinfoil hat forever? Or was it just for when it was going through the mail?
I like your signature.
I am envious of all these things.
It didn’t come in the hat – it wasn’t activated yet, so there was no security risk. I’m supposed to keep it in the tin foil AT ALL TIMES unless I need to show it to the authorities. It’s incredibly inconvenient – I kept my old one behind a plastic window in my wallet so I didn’t have to take it out, it could just be viewed from afar. This new one requires me to open my wallet, fish out the tin foil, take the card out, hand it over, then put it back so’s no one can scan my secrets. Fancy or not, so far it’s been a giant pain in the ass. :)
The picture kind of makes it look like you just came from a really shitty Hawaiin themed party.
I wouldn’t worry about the tinfoil sleeve. They just give it to the paranoid people so they don’t get sued.
Hey Jon, I know like eighteen people at this very moment who have the ability to intercept and decode RFID signals. I have the theory but not the equipment, although the equipment is pretty cheap. I would encourage Kimli in her ongoing efforts to keep the voices from talking to her card. Tinfoil hats FTW!
(OTOH, why in hell didn’t they just use a half-decent 128bit+encoding scheme? What the crap? It’s like they want the terrorists to win!)