checkmate

I need a monster truck.

What seemed an innocent parking bee has turned into a full-fledged pissing contest: we appear to be caught up in trying to out-do one another.

When I first started parking in the Secret Area, it was just Oscar and a little gray Dio. Eventually we were joined by a third scooter; a gray Vino 50. We lived in harmony for a while, but then the game started: the Dio disappeared and was replaced by a shiny new Vino 125. Not content to have something the same (but clearly more awesome) as someone else, I went out and accidentally came home with Darth Lola.

For a couple weeks, we lived in harmony with my penis clearly being the largest: the Vespa 250, the Vino 125, and the Vino 50. YEAH! I win! I’m the best and my dick is the biggest of them all!

.. someone upgraded to a Kawasaki Ninja Something or Other.

FUCKER.

Obviously, my next move must be epic – and that’s where the Monster Truck comes in. A shiny black one, with 3-storey high tires and a naked lady straddling a unicorn in front of a full moon with a howling wolf and maybe a dragon wizard airbrushed on the side. Let’s see you guys top THAT.

So hey, the Province is doing a “Best of BC” blog list. They’re looking for people to nominate their favourite blogs via email:

Send us a link, tell us what they blog about and why you like them. Once we’ve received enough nominations, we’ll post links to these popular blogs on our website.

Blogs can be about any subject, as long as the individuals behind them are based in B.C. and operate independently rather than as part of a media outlet. There is no limit on the number of blogs you can nominate.

.. if you have a spare second, would you consider nominating me? I am in BC, I blog with passion and without pants, and I’m definitely not a media outlet or a self-aggrandizing jerk (even when I try to be). Just an idea. No pressure.

A whole bunch of you have apparently emailed in, and thank you! I think we’re pissing them off, though – the replies I’ve been hearing have been getting curter and curter with every email. I hope they’re not mad – it certainly wasn’t my intent to flood them with love from my seven readers – but I think my existence has been noted :D

Who wants a ride in my Monster Truck?

7 thoughts on “checkmate

  1. I’m not picky. I’d be happy to possess or take a ride on any of your scooters/penises. Though I’d probably just fall off and break something.

  2. I, for one Rob, have already ridden Kimli’s penis. And may I say, it’s satisfying. The vibrations wake you RIGHT up.

  3. Delurking after years (!) to say consider yourself nominated. Good luck, Kimli. I think your blog’s a 9.0 on the Richter scale.

  4. Good news – just nominated you and this is the feedback I received:

    Hi Marnie.
    This seems like a popular one. Thanks for writing.
    Jen

  5. Hey, don’t stress it. These types of replies are standard ‘Thank you’ issue. Polite, to the point, and relevant to the subject. Take pleasure in the gist- we seem to like you!

    New follower by the way, so you now have 8. Live in the Toronto area, and currently just catching up on your archives. You’re one interesting chickie, I’ll give you that.

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