the thought police live inside my head

I’m not sure why this has come as such a surprise to me, but apparently there are rules – the IOC, in the interest of policing everything every person does, has released official “Blogging Guidelines” for anyone officially unofficially writing about the Vancouver 2010 Olympics.

The rules are surprisingly strict. For starters, we must abide by the Olympic Charter (which is in itself a scary-looking 105 page rule book that basically says “don’t do anything, ever”). Entries must be written in a journal or diary format, and cannot contain interviews or stories with or about Official Olympic People. We can’t disclose any confidential or private information, we’re not allowed to post audio or video clips, any pictures we take must not include any sporting action or ceremonies, and consent must be obtained to post pictures that contain people in them. For the love of god, don’t post a montage – especially if it’s set to music – because the IOC is not a fan of the talkies, and the moving images are startling to the faint of heart.

We can’t use the rings, or the mascots, or even the word “Olympic” unless it’s not associated with any third parties. For example, I can say “I’m going to the Olympics!” but I can’t say “I sure like these Olympic-flavoured onion rings I got at Johnny’s Sausage Shack!”. I can’t offer advertising or ask for sponsorship because of my Olympic posts, and I certainly can’t be paid for anything I write.

I can, however, advertise for anyone listed on the IOC Partner list – but it can’t be a pop-up ad or an expandable banner, and it can’t take more than 15% of the screen.

My domain can’t have the word “Olympic” in it, killing my dreams of “masturbating4olympicgold.com”.

The IOC encourages us to link to their own websites! However, I should note that I will be held personally liable for anything defamatory, obscene or proprietary. I am posting at my own risk and should make it clear that the views expressed here are completely my own.

And of course, my personal favourite paragraph:

In any event, blogs containing Olympic Content should at all times conform to the Olympic spirit and fundamental principles of Olympism as contained in the Olympic Charter, and be dignified and in good taste.

.. I am nothing if not known for my ability to conform in a dignified and tasteful manner.

The rules for Accredited Bloggers are set in stone, but it looks like those of us who are wholly not official are being encouraged to act with the same principles in mind. I will try, but I can already feel my dignity slipping away on a jizz-covered exposé on Olympian mating rituals.

Then there’s the issue of this:

breakin' the law breakin' the law

How many rules am I breaking here? Six? Seven? Whatever the answer, it’s obviously not enough.

I had actually planned to create the Olympic logo out of coloured condoms, but a) I don’t have any yellow ones, and b) it’s been done. Give me a bit. I’m still thinking.

Has the IOC gone overboard, or is the collective power of every hack with a blog really something to be feared and controlled with strongly worded PDFs?

5 thoughts on “the thought police live inside my head

  1. Pingback: mmx in review « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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