what’s up down there

Tubal ligation was last night’s hot topic on Twitter, so I thought I’d throw my uterus into the fray. I sort of started the whole exchange (I have a bad habit of being the instigator behind a lot of things, both good and ridiculous) when I mentioned to ZoeyJane that I couldn’t ask, beg, demand, threaten or pay someone to tie my tubes for a multitude of reasons, with “never say never, dearie” being the most prominent and oft-repeated.

It’s been 21 months since I wrote this post about my frustration at being cock-blocked at every turn of my uterus. When I re-read my words, all the rage comes flooding back: fury at being talked down to, disgust that I can’t be allowed to make the choice for myself, additional fury that this is even an issue at all. Aren’t we past the point where the little woman can’t think for herself? This kind of backwards thinking makes my heart ache and fear for the future.

I have no new news to share about my uterus and my struggle to convince someone – anyone – to tie my goddamn tubes already. It’s been almost 2 years, and while I’m not in danger of spitting out children any time soon thanks to my Weapon of Sperm Destruction, it absolutely kills me to know that I’m being denied something I have every right to request simply because someone else doesn’t think I know what I’m doing. My IUD has three years of shelf life left, but I don’t plan to wait that long before I confront the medical system again – I’m waiting for the clinic that did the initial installation to get my referral and call me to schedule my check up, and I’m going to ambush them with my request. I will let you know what happens when I do – if they agree or try to talk me out of it – but I anticipate a fight; one I am more than willing to take to the streets if it’ll get me what I need.

I envision a protest with hilarious signage in my future.

actually, this could be a lot of fun

15 thoughts on “what’s up down there

  1. My husband has wanted a vasectomy since he was 18, but he got the same speech that you did. It’s almost comforting to know that it’s not just women, but… not really. I got my Mirena in July ’07 (I passed out, seized for a couple of seconds, and was taken to the ER in an ambulance while my body calmed the hell down. Ask me how much I’m dreading its removal in a couple of years).

    Good luck with the battle. I’ll totally carry a hilarious protest sign if it comes to that.

  2. what? just read your previous post- I had no idea it was such a pain in the ass (or impossible) to get something you want done to your own body. I know someone who got her tubes tied in her 20’s, now I’m really curious how she managed that.

    also, after reading comments on your last post IUDs sound about 50x more awesome than the pill – I’ve always thought the pill is a bit freaky, what with blasting you daily with enough hormones to render you infertile, and having what sounds like the worst side effects ever.

  3. want to get a little more mad?

    I was reading someones frustration on livejournal a few days ago about her attempts to get a tubal. She finally had a doctor say he’d do it, but as part of the paperwork she had to have her spouse sign off that he consented to the process as well. Terrible.

  4. Let me tell you something else: if something really really bad happens and this country re-opens the abortion debate, I am marching to my doc’s office and demanding to be fixed immediately. As I told my husband the other day, I would far rather want a kid and not be able to have than have to have one against my will.

    Oddly, it was my doc who asked ME whether I’d considered a tubal last year when we had the babies discussion, but she’s anti kid anyway. :) So if the boy gets cockblocked when we decide to have him fixed, we’ll do me instead. If we can find a surgeon willing to accept my doc’s recommendation, that is.

  5. Boo stupid doctors! A girl should be able to do whatever she wants with her girl parts! I wonder what my Lady Doctor would say about that. I should check and see if they would refer me. I don’t necessarily WANT a tubal (I don’t really wanna mess with my plumbing in any way – babies, tubal ligations or otherwise – I am too paranoid to have ANYTHING done to my junk), but it would be interesting to see what they would say.

    On a different note, (this has nothing to do with your post), it is very, very strange to see someone post comment as Kalin. It is WEIRD. Its like having an out of body experience for me – only there is no body or experience.

  6. i think a woman at any age should be able to decide for herself- just like an abortion- on whether she wants kids,now or never. to suggest that because she was 21 she was incapable of making an informed decision is ridiculous…she already had a child….if anything that should mean more about her decision making abilities as a woman AND a mother.

    what a crock of shit this is,in short.

  7. It’s your body you should be allowed to alter it any way you want.

    It’s also not a medically necessary operation, so I presume you’re okay paying the full bill for the operation.

  8. Can I rage for a moment on your blog?

    I recently switched from my partner’s health coverage to my employers coverage and learned that mine does not cover birth control prescriptions at all. I complained loudly to the insurance company who pointed the finger at my employer who said that birth control was considered a “lifestyle drug” unless medically necessary and suggested I take up the issue with my union in the next round of bargaining.

    EXCUSE ME? Being not-pregnant is a LIFESTYLE? Seriously?!!!

    I honestly am at a loss for words.

    Pacific Blue Cross = FAIL

    • Actually, you would want to take that one up with your employer — my Pac Blue Cross plan covers contraceptives no problem, and I’m the only woman in the office.

      Also… switched? Wouldn’t you just be covered under both, so anything not covered under one would be covered under the other?

      • good to know PBC can cover it – I’ll let them off the hook for now. I will definitely be talking to my union about changing this nonsense when they renegotiate our benefits….

        (switched because my partner left his company, so that (awesome) coverage is kaput.)

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