(you’ll never guess) my secret identity

I received a bunch of really cool books for my birthday, but I carry one of them around with me in case I am in dire need of inspiration.

Wow, that sentence is kind of creepy. It reads like this would be where I start talking about how the bible has totally saved me from a life of sinful sin and stuff. Luckily, this is not the case – Miranda gave me a copy of this book, and it’s got a bunch of really cool things in it. I decided it would be my go-to book when I’ve got nothing in particular to say: I can pick a topic at random and write about that instead of apologizing again for having a boring week. Today is one of those days, so here goes:

This is a Secret Identity (page 30)

Secret Identity Profile
(who would you like to be?)

Name: Esther Alondra Gomez

Place of Birth: Guadalajara, Jalisco

Profession: Third grade teacher

Likes: Dancing, licorice, church potluck dinners, sewing, gardening

Dislikes: Loud people, mosquito bites, El Chupacabra

Location: Zimapan, Hidalgo

Lifestyle Synopsis (daily activities): I wake up each day at 05:30 and after my morning prayers, I prepare a simple meal for myself, my abuela Graciela and my hermana Inez, usually consisting of sweet bread, fruit and horchata. I dress quickly and walk to my school to prepare the classroom and lessons for the day. In the afternoon, I like to go to the market and shop for ingredients for dinner and also admire the bright fabrics on display. I hurry home to escort my abuela to church where we enjoy an evening service before coming home. I will bathe, brush my hair, and turn in for the night while listening to the radio so I can dance in my dreams.

Personal Habits: I like to wear flowers, and I am very bad at remembering names – the children in my class have to use name plates all year around so I do not forget what they are called!

Hobbies: I love to dance, but I spend most of my time sewing. I make my own dresses because clothing in the stores do not have enough flowers for my taste!

Groups and Associations: I am very active in our church, and also belong to a book club with other ladies in my school. We meet once a week to talk about the books we have read.

Social Life: I do not go out “on the town” like my sister, but I have many good friends that I visit with often. We like to talk and sometimes to to the cinema. At church, I volunteer at our weekly potluck dinners. I enjoy spending quiet time at home!

.. apparently, my alter ego is a Mexican spinster school teacher who lives with her grandmother and spends all her time in church. Seriously, there were so many ways I could have played this – a secret agent; a famous musician – but I opted to go with normal. My life is already unusual; I think if I were trying to be someone else I would go for something that no one else would think of. Hiding in a tiny town, working with children, being all pious and junk? I would NEVER BE FOUND.

To be honest, this isn’t the first time “I’ve” been a 3rd grade teacher. When I used to travel for business, I would amuse myself by lying to taxi drivers and hotel people when the inevitable “so, where are you from/what do you do” questions came up. In Cincinnati, I was a teacher named Michelle in town for a conference on primary education. In Toronto, my name was Julie and I was there for a friend’s wedding. It’s fun to lie to strangers!

Finally, the book included a disguise to be used for my new identity:

esther gomez, brought to life!

It’s like looking in a mirror – of LIES.

this was a legitimate reason to tape things to my face

Guadalajara, Jalisco

7 thoughts on “(you’ll never guess) my secret identity

  1. I also love that they specified “cut out” in the middle of the glasses. Although if your eyes were hidden that would just be an extra layer of secretness!

  2. “abuela” is auntie, not Grandmother, “hermana” = seester, and the “dancing in her dreams” is a good thing. The female extra facial hair is Russian and Greek ( check with Ed on this! ), not Mexican.

    “Horchata” is soooo good. Hot chocolate drink with ground-up pumpkin seeds for extra flavour. Can’t get it at Timmys!

  3. Pingback: enabling esther « delicious juice dot com – a zesty vancouver blog

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