j_holtslander over on the Twitters linked to a list of 10 Essential Accessories for the Fashionable Geek. This is all well and good, but I’m a little put out – I consider myself a fashionable geek, but I can’t wear the majority of that list because I don’t do sneakers, t-shirts, belts, men’s dress shirts, or trucker hats. Honestly, most of the list can be swapped with the 10 Essential Accessories for the Ironic Hipster and no one would know the difference.

Except ME.

Since I don’t want to do any real work – seriously, fuck global outage procedures – here is MY list of Essential Accessories for Fashionable Geeks Who Just Don’t Do T-Shirts and Trucker Hats:

1. Okay, this isn’t an accessory so much as an outfit but this Star Trek Original Series Uniform Dress from ThinkGeek is all kinds of awesome – pair it with black boots and a taser, and you’re ready for work, a night on the town, and any Away Mission in between.
2. This RUN CMD hoodie isn’t actually available anymore, which kills me – I wish I had bought it when I first saw it online. It is hilarious and likely warm, which would come in handy during an Away Mission on Hoth (yeah yeah). Since that’s out of the question, here are three nerd hoodies in different styles you CAN buy:  an awesome Domo-kun hoodie, this stylish 1-Up track jacket, and the N7 “armour” from Mass Effect. Interesting note: Ed owns all three of these, because nerd boys in nerd hoodies make me hot.
3. You’ll need something to carry your stuff around in – how about this awesome Left 4 Dead 2 Health Pack? If you prefer a different flavour of geek, there’s always the ever-useful Bag of Holding. I’m all about the Canadiana though, so I carry this old school CBC bag that gets me compliments everywhere I go.
4. Nerd Girls don’t normally wear cufflinks, but shiny comes in many styles:
   • This <3 ring is unisex and cute, and also comes in necklace format
   • Science geek? The Art of Neuroscience on Etsy has you covered with laser-cut DNA jewellery and name plates
   • Tiny Armour sells Pac-Man themed jewellery (among other things), and I covet the Ms. Pac-Man and Ghost rings like you wouldn’t believe
   • Survival of the Hippest makes fun Twitter jewellery, or you can mix things up by searching Etsy for anyone who offers custom name items like this necklace of mine
   • If you’ve got more money than taste, you can ask Pharrell where he got his diamond-covered Mario jewellery
   • Remember my fabulous USB bracelet? Carry your files around in hilarious style!
5. If I’m looking good, my toys should be too – decorate your MacBook or iPad with some hip decals
6. If you weren’t cool enough to get a Canon lens mug at the Winter Olympics, you can now order one online for your very own
7. I’m a nerd, but I’m also a makeup-loving girlie girl. What am I to do, other than buy cosmetics based on video games?
8. Nerd Fashion doesn’t have to cost money – dress up your iPhone with this awesome wallpaper:

click to download the original image

I own a great deal of nerd swag that is no longer available (Quake 1 necklace), limited edition (Katamari charm/pouch/puppet; Rockstar keychain) or hand-made (Jet Set Radio Future hoodie), but there is a LOT of awesome stuff out there (do you have any idea how badly I want this) – I could easily be broke but happy and so stylish it would hurt. Nerds everywhere would lustfully chase me down in the street. It would be awesome.

if you prick us, do we not bleed shakespeare quotes?