My melons are already pretty soft and luxurious, but that doesn’t stop me from really wanting to try this:

i want lovely jubblies plz

I know it’s all marketing, and any kind of moisturizer would do if I was really intent on greasing my chest up, and it’s expensive, and likely wouldn’t go very far when you consider the sheer amount of surface area my boobs take up – but still. Maybe it would make me pretty, and at the very least, my boobs would smell like flowers so really it’s win-win all around. I think I should get some, just to be safe. Would you really begrudge me an excellent décolletage just because it’s vain and desperately silly? Why must you be so mean?

I had a grand and glorious update planned for today, but I had neither the props nor privacy needed to pull it off so you’ll have to wait until tonight or maybe tomorrow, depending on how long it takes me to massage soothing lotions into my bosom.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon and even though my last visit was a total breeze, I still don’t want to go.