i can’t think of a title for this post

I may never shop at a women’s sex store again.

Um, this update is going to be both TMI and PG-45: reader discretion is advised.

Anyway, ‘nee and I went to a Yelp Elite event at Mis Trucos on Davie Street. It was fun meeting new people and enjoying some fancy times dressed all in white, but it was extremely crowded and warm in there so after an hour we bailed to make room for others – the lure of Davie Street was impossible to resist, even in the rain.

Our first stop was at Priape. I’ve known of Priape for years – as if someone like me wouldn’t know the best place to find an 18″, 20 pound fist-shaped sex toy called a Thunder Stick – but I’d never been inside. Today that changed – and it changed my world.

Sex toys made for gay men are AWESOME! They come in such an interesting array of shapes and colours, NONE of which had faces! I absolutely loathe sex toys with cute anthropomorphic animals on them; something that gay men apparently don’t have to worry about. Also? THE SIZES! Holy crap, where has this place been all my life?

I don’t know why the makers of sex toys for females think that all women are delicate flowers who want slender, dainty dildos in pastel colours – sometimes we want a good hard stuffing; something that a “Flora” just can’t do. Finding a dildo of a decent size (anything over 7″) in a woman-friendly sex shop is impossible and would be prohibitively expensive, if the local prices are any indication ($149.85 for 7″ x 1 3/4″?!). I’ve found a fantastic solution for this epidemic of wimpy sex toys in Priape, though – they sell things in there that strike fear deep in places where no fear – or those toys – should ever be.

And the prices! WHY are men’s toys so much cheaper than women’s?! It’s not FAIR. An 8″ dildo with some serious weight to it (yay!) is $19.95 in Priape; the closest I can find at Vancouver’s favourite store clocks in at $159.85. That isn’t a typo; that’s standard and it’s REALLY UNFAIR. I bought a 9″x a lot dildo for $22.95 at Priape; a price difference as unbelievably large as some of the butt plugs they had on display. The dildo is large enough to do some serious damage when wielded as a weapon; something that satisfies my size queen tendencies and also makes for a hilarious story. I have no need to ever shop at a women’s sex store again – not only does Priape have a great selection at ridiculous prices, there are naked men all over the place in there. So much awesome.

I don’t understand how sex toys are priced at all. 9″ is good and all, but they had a 10″ model for $32.95, a $10 difference – but the jump from 8″ to 9″ was only $4. $10 seems like a lot of money for that extra inch, and I am technically poor so I went with the slightly smaller one and used the difference in price to buy some new lube. I didn’t go to Dildo School for nothing.

I learned SO MUCH this afternoon. Now, do I use this knowledge for good or evil?

15 thoughts on “i can’t think of a title for this post

  1. It’s the materials. I’m willing to bet the one you bought isn’t medical grade silicone. The $160 one would hopefully be. For those of us with sensitive bits… that counts.

    On the other hand, for a $140 difference, you can just toss a condom on it and be done. :D

  2. Over priced rubber cocks or the lack thereof at “Women” friendly sex toy stores, is because they charge you a premium to feel like an empowered feminist in a “Safe” setting. It is horse shit, they assume that no women have male partners who are active in communication sexually and make men that enter the stores feel like some kind of convicted sex offender or puppy killer. The toys that have animals, i think that is so women who still think self pleasure is wrong and by putting a cute dolphin or teddy bear on them it will somehow wash the shame away. I do not find woman focused sex shops sex positive, more like a walled garden of misplaced fear based psudo-feminism.

    Gay sex shops, are always very sex positive and welcome everyone and yes the prices are cheaper and you can get a butt plug with a tail called “My Little Pony”. That is as anmorphising as they get. Viva the 15in Black rubber cock with suction cup so you can stick it to your fridge or condo window!!

  3. My understanding is that many of the cute little anthropomorphic dils are made in Asia where dildos are illegal so therefore have to be disguised as “personal massagers.”

  4. WOW! that is crazy. But the prices arnt that bad of a jump around here (Minnesota, USA). My wife likes her toys like u do, but she is more concernd about the thickness then the length. The prices u mentiond at the gay shop are pretty low, but the prices for the female toys around here are no where near as high as there.

    My wife was able to get a 9″x1.5″ vibrating dildo, that was hot pink and seethru, for $40. Its is also made of 100% silicone. That is about the standard price at all the places around here that sell sex toys. I have NEVER see a plastic/silicone dildo or vibrator cost $100+, even if it was made of 100% silicone that is FUCKING REDICULUS! The only time i saw a dildo cost $150 was because it was made of hand blown solid glass, it was twisted, and had multi colored swirl design on the inside. The kind u would see on the inside of a marble.

    NO WOMAN should EVER have to pay that much, especialy for something thats ONLY 7″ long! I feel bad for any woman that thinks or has pay $100+ for something like that. I dont know if its a Canadian thing or what, but that ACTUALLY pisses me off that they would do that.

    With all the Knowlage that I have about sex toys, which is more than ur average person, LOL! I would have to say, U should NEVER have to pay $100+ for a dildo or Vibrator unless it is made of solid glass or metal….or is some ungodly size that is measured in ft. LOL! Otherwise u are being taken advantage of.

    P.S. I for one would use the knowlege for EVIL! Well….the kind of “EVIL” that happens in the bedroom at least. ; )

      • @Donna: Hmmm, good point, I didnt think of that. I was never told it was 100% silicone, it came in its own Air tight sealed package. I thought I remembered reading that it was a silicone of some kind. It may be a hybrid material insted. Either way, the point i was trying to make was even if a Dildo/Vibrator is 100% silicone, It should NOT cost over $100.

  5. When you say Priape has naked men all over the store, do you mean photographs, or actual naked men just in there, shopping?

    Also, what’s the tuition like at Dildo School? And did you ever blow off classes?

  6. i was first exposed to Priape with my gay brother on boxing day. OMG. like a clit in a cock store! colour me happy.

    my size queen bro bought something so large i questioned how he’d get it home in his suitcase.

    “Honey,forget the suitcase,how am I going to get it past security. I only have a carry on!”

    good times.

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