at my limit

Ed promised me this week would be better than last, but my breakfast of a sausage biscuit from McDonald’s was missing a key ingredient – the sausage. What kind of week could I possibly have if, less than two hours into my Monday, I’ve already been deprived of sausage? I shudder to think. And I want sausage, damnit.

I try really hard not to complain about the weather, because I knew what I was in for when I decided I had to live in Vancouver – yes, it rains, and most of the time it’s not that bad. Things could always be worse; Calgary got hit with a huge snowstorm over the weekend .. but okay, ENOUGH with the rain. I can’t ride my scooter, I’m very grumpy all the time, and I want to do outdoor things in the sunshine. At least, I think I do – I can’t really remember what sunshine is. I think it was yellow? Maybe it smelled like cookies? I have sunglasses. I’d like to use them some day.

I’ve decided it would be an awesome thing to pay lots of money for parking; just over double what I currently pay. I’ve been crunching some numbers, see, and even though my parking is “only” $105 a month, we actually pay a great deal more than that. Ed usually rides to work when the damn sun is out, at a rate of $7.50 a day. Sometimes we drive – errands to run, fun things to attend, large unwieldy objects heading to and fro – which costs $15-$20 a day. And even if I ride every day and Ed takes the bus, he still has to buy tickets ($22 a week). All of that is a lot of money, to the point that paying $205 + taxes per month for parking is the lesser of two evils. I’m actually trying to work out some sneaky details that would allow us to park either the car or one/two scooters in our spot, giving us options for transportation. There’s nothing I hate more than paying to park the car when I already pay monthly for my scooter, so this would eliminate that double payment and make things easier when I inevitably have to go to Costco to pick up 90 sandwiches at the last damn minute.

Of course, this is all great in theory. I filled out the paperwork and made several balls start rolling this morning, but I don’t know if I can actually do this – see, I’ve never seen a motorcycle or scooter in the lot at all. There’s no signage saying it’s not allowed, but what if that’s an unwritten rule? What if they don’t allow me to do my super-awesome plan of one car or two scooters? What if they laugh at me and call me names? I need to talk to someone at the parking office and explain away my brilliant idea; somehow getting two tags for the price of one – but our scooters are small! You can fit 5 of us in one spot! My idea costs them nothing and generates goodwill for all of mankind (or just me; I’m that delusional)! WHY WON’T THEY LET ME DO IT?!

Jerks.

Oh wait, I haven’t asked yet. Here’s hoping they’re not jerks.

If this doesn’t work, I’m just going to relocate us to San Francisco; home of the $.25/h, 10-hour limit motorcycle parking.

2 thoughts on “at my limit

  1. I don’t know why McDonald’s even bothers to take orders any more, seeing as how they’re going to give you whatever they want anyway.

    Sausage biscuit without sausage? “Where’s the beef?! — er, pork?! — er, processed patty-shaped fat?!”

  2. Pingback: pretty perfect « delicious juice dot com: unapologetically inappropriate

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