I’ve been suffering from some pretty wicked insomnia lately (so sayeth the two hours of sleep I managed to get on Friday night), so being startled awake at 1:30 Sunday morning after I had FINALLY managed to drop off was really fucking annoying. I made the best of a bad situation, though, by live-tweeting the break up going on outside my window:

sara is kind of a bitch; i'm on Team Nick

A couple of charming individuals had a very loud, very public fight directly under my bedroom window very early this morning. I could have gotten up to take a look, or asked them to shove off, or shut my bedroom window – but instead I grabbed my cell phone and shared the lengthy exchange with Twitter. I’m no stranger to this – the technology is different, but the end result is the same. When I was living on Wark St. in Victoria a lifetime ago, a couple used to fight on their balcony every single weekend. I was a night owl, so I would inevitably be awake and on the STS – and I would share their angst with the world, line by line. I don’t remember their names, but it was all so familiar. Public break ups are embarrassing (for the couple) and hilarious (for me).

I was totally on Team Nick last night – I heard the fight from the very beginning, and Sara was just being a bitch. She was beaking at Nick for some minor infraction, and he just lost it – he called her out on how badly she treats him, sobbed a couple times, and decided he was done. She did a great deal of backpeddling at that moment, because I don’t think she had intended the fight to go that far – I know “Sara”, and they pick fights for the grovelling and apologies that come after they yell. They NEVER get called on their shit – but when they do, it’s shock and horror and HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEEEEEAN all over the place. Anyway, the subject soon turned to Sara’s drinking problem to which she screamed “I’m an alcoholic! I deal with it, why can’t you!” .. colour me skeptical, but I don’t think merely acknowledging that you have a problem can be considered “dealing with it”; you then need to try to get better. The conversation quickly turned nasty at that point, with Nick not happy about Sara’s constant drunken state to which she came back with “and your fault I drink!”. Uh oh. That was the beginning of the end of coherency; both parties descended into high-pitched wailing and shrieking at that point which thankfully faded away as they flounced off dramatically down the street. Nick wasn’t taking it too well, as he kicked or punched things many times while yelling “BIIIIIIIIIITCH” out loud to the universe, who had more important things to worry about.

I fell asleep at that point.

They did come back later, with a third party. It sounded as though most things had been smoothed over – oh, young love – as they weren’t yelling any more and therefore didn’t have enough volume to fully drag me from my slumber. I may never know the fate of Nick and Sara, but I certainly don’t envy them. Young love is a (loud) pain in the ass.

i love gnomes. i wish i had an army of them.