blue and yellow purple hills

I spent most of yesterday afternoon chasing around doctors and remedies to cure me of all my ailments and woes, and I feel better – not because the drugs have kicked in and I’m cured, but because I Took Steps towards fixing myself. Taking Steps is important; almost as important as the medication itself. It’s a heck of a lot better than wallowing, at any rate.

It was decided that I would gradually increase my daily dose of crazy pills until I got my happy back; 37.5mg at a time. If the first increase does nothing, we go up again. If I’m still staring blankly at walls, then we try something else – Prozac or Paxil, or other, newer drugs that all sound like boner pills. My boners are fine, thank you very much. Just fix my brain, and everything else will happen naturally.

I’m now taking 8 pills a day, which is depressing to me. To be fair, 5 of those are vitamins – at the advice of various people, I’m taking a metric assload of vitamin D along with vitamin B complex (a complicated version of regular old vitamin B). I’m also taking my omnipresent antihistamine, and then the two crazy pills – so it’s not all THAT bad; I just feel old because I really ought to be using one of those daily pill organizers to keep everything straight. I wonder if they make Hello Kitty ones? That’s a silly thought – of COURSE they make Hello Kitty ones; I just need to find them. To eBay!

I also addressed the ongoing issue of zombie face to the doctor. After peering at my face, he declared me to be gross but salvageable and wrote me a prescription for two +4 Dire Creams. Both ointments came with big instruction sheets and scary warnings saying “don’t use this cream” “if you have to use this cream, make sure your estate is in order” “for the love of god, wash your hands after using this cream” “better yet, burn your hands completely. cut them off and burn them, and don’t breathe the smoke.” “you are utterly screwed”. I figure I don’t really have much to lose – I’ve already got some wicked discolouration going on in my facial areas; what’s the worst that could happen? I’d get even whiter? I’m already the most non-Asian Asian I know. I am not concerned.

So, we’ll see. Maybe I’ll start feeling better in a week or so, and if I don’t, then I’ll take more meds until I do and/or go back for new drugs. This wasn’t exactly what I meant when I said I wanted some adventure, but if I get back to my normal self, everything is an adventure.

When I got to work this morning, the new programmer gave me some Diet Coke coz my birthday is on Saturday, and I found my goatse ring. It was under my desk, which is a truly stupid place for it to be. I’m glad I have it back – I missed it, and was sad that it was potentially lost forever.

i take a couple uppers i down a couple downers


5 thoughts on “blue and yellow purple hills

  1. When I was taking pills daily, I had to use a pill organizer. I felt 92. On the other hand, when I forgot to take my pills 3 days in a row and felt like throwing myself off the balcony, feeling 92 and using a pill organizer seemed much more sensible. :D

  2. Kimli, have you ever gone to a naturopath to see if there might be something else causing things? Whilst I love my Paxil (yea for crazy pills!!), a visit to a naturopath showed a candida problem which has affected my skin, as well as other systemic issues. I’m not going to go off my Paxil, but I have to say that I went from fairly sleep and zoned to perky and awake. Might be worth a trip to investigate things like food allergies, etc. to see if it is impacting you.

  3. A couple thoughts; it seems like all my happy-pill friends are having to up their dose these days, to the point where I’m blaming this crappy summer with its lack of happiness-producing sunshine. Take heart; it may be that it’s not your body adjusting itself to your pills, but rather your body finally running out of last summer’s happiness and this summer has not put any in the tank.

    Vitamin D supplements, so I’ve read, are a bit of a crapshoot because many of the types available are very difficult for the body to ingest. One of the traditional ways of getting vitamin D was via milk, but between changes to feed (cows get vitamin D from eating grass, and most milk cows go a long way between blades of grass these days) and pasturization (which destroys the D, which is why dairy farmers replace it with the same kind of D you buy in the pill form, so that’s kinda a writeoff for you) that’s not really available these days…

    Unless you get your milk from a raw dairy that grazes its cows, like Home on the Range ( which is where my family gets ours. It is delicious and makes me happy.

    Not that I’ve ever had depression problems; anger is my thing. Nevertheless, happy is happy.

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