May you live in interesting times is supposed to be an ancient Chinese curse; one that’s always confused me – I LIKE interesting. Why would I not want to live in interesting times? That sounds like fun, and a hell of a lot better than living in boring times. I imagine that people who do not want to live in interesting times are extremely dull and probably drink lukewarm tea while watching reality TV. Those people can HAVE their uninteresting times; I’ll take the curse thank you very much.

Then I had a very interesting 36 hours or so, and by the end of it all I was kind of wishing for a nice cup of chamomile and the Bachelorette (bless her indecisive heart). I get why it’s a curse now – “interesting times” doesn’t mean adventure, it means turmoil and danger and arsonists all up in your business. It’s riots and sirens and Aquaman throwing stuff through your front door. It’s not getting packages in the mail or going on TV to answer criticism about being a snitch; it’s fucking scary.

On Sunday night, there was a couple fighting on the street below our bedroom window loudly enough to wake us both up. Monday afternoon was the fire. Around 3am Tuesday morning, I was awoken by a guy sobbing his brains out across the street – full-bodied (and likely drunken) sobs that sounded like a dramatic exercise by the worst acting student with delusions of grandeur that ever lived. Less than four hours later, I was startled awake once again – this time by a car crash. There was a head-on collision in my intersection, and the screeching of tires and metal had me out of bed before my alarm went off.

Enough, okay? No more interesting times outside my bedroom window! I would really love to be able to sleep a whole night through without a gaggle of drunken idiots having relationship problems 20 feet from my head. It’s kind of like living in the Ghetto of North Vancouver all over again (I miss the drum circles, kind of) with only slightly less crime (and way fewer all out gang wars).

I’ll take the interesting times in other places, though. I sure do love me some adventure!

down low

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